6. There's no free lunch. Downloading free music, movies, and games from file-sharing sites can open holes in your system for others to exploit. Play it safe and use established services like Rhapsody, iTunes, and Netflix.
Bullshit. It's safer than surfing for porn or other dodgy sites. Don't poke your head in dodgy shit no matter where you are.
8. Give it a rest. Turning off your computer when it's not in use saves energy and clears out the RAM, or temporary memory, which would otherwise slow your machine over time.
What the fuck? Unless you're running Virtual RAM (using the HDD for RAM), this isn't an issue. As for energy, sure.
9. If you can't get online, call your Internet service provider first. Connection problems can often be checked and fixed-free.
Save your money, reboot everything. 90% of the time that fixes it.
11. No, you can't use your cell phone to pop popcorn. Next time an Internet rumor drops into your inbox, don't just pass it on-check it out at snopes.com first.
Just ask google. Chances are pretty high there's a factual article somewhere about it.
13. If you don't understand me, I'm not doing my job. Confusing tech jargon is a sign of insecurity, not intelligence.
No. We use complex greek in 5 words so we don't have to explain it in 100, because we know you won't get it anyways, and we hate explaining it over and over again.
Use Google.
That's your best tech-support bar none.
Most techies use Google. Why couldn't you use Google? Because you gave it one shot, and then gave up. If you even did that. Then you tell me you spent a long time on Google trying yourself. Then I give it a shot and hit bullseye because I Google for something like "router not working 'model' some numbers" and wham. Even your History tells me that the last things you did on google included the words "en&q=scheize+pr0n" and I bury my head in my hands and pray for a better tommorrow.