Well, I didn't SPEND the money, but I worked my arse off for nothing. (But not literally.)
Was planning on buying:
NZXT Gamma Gaming Case - Black
AMD Athlon™ II X2 255 Dual-Core CPU
Processor Cooling
Certified CPU Fan and Heatsink
Memory
2 GB [1 GB X2] DDR2-800 PC6400 Memory Module - Corsair-Value or Major Brand
ATI Radeon HD 5450 - 1GB
Video Card Brand
Motherboard
ASUS M4A785-M -- AMD 785G Hybrid CrossFire Chipset
Power Supply
450 Watt -- Standard Power Supply
500 GB HARD DRIVE -- 16M Cache, 7200 RPM, 3.0Gb/s - Single Drive
24X Dual Format/Double Layer DVD±R/±RW + CD-R/RW Drive - Black
Flash Media Reader/Writer
12-In-1 Internal Flash Media Card Reader/Writer - Black
3D Premium Surround Sound Onboard
Onboard LAN Network (Gb or 10/100)
iBUYPOWER 2.1 Channel Stereo Super Bass Subwoofer Speaker System
Standard Warranty Service - Standard 3-Year Limited Warranty + Lifetime Technical Support
No Rush Service, Estimate Ship Out in 5~10 Business Days
Multi-Media/Internet Keyboard + Optical Internet Mouse Black
Sunbeamtech Lan Party Bag
Professional wiring for all cables inside the system tower Achieve exceptional airflow in your chassis
(Basic Pro Wiring)
Windows 7 Home Premium 32 Bit
From iBUYPOWER, for roughly 530$
But it turns out, that even though it's MY money, and it would be MY computer, apparently it's not MY choice. Meh.