Guess it is true, what you were introduced to as an rpg first sticks with you in many cases...to me there hasn't been a true standalone rpg ever. They are stories, you have choices, but those choices all have predetermined outcomes. Someone mentioned that it's an rpg if you can choose a good or evil path...no...it's still a predetermined path. Quite simply, you cannot go outside the storyline to do anything to change the path they've (game devs) have designated for you.
Role Playing Game, not Story Playing Game. MMORPG's are closest to the reality (or unreality) of an RPG, you can be good, or evil, make allies and enemies...and the game doesn't end when you complete a quest. In fact, the world is persistent and the choices you've made carry through your entire time playing. I play mmo called rappelz, and another perfect world, choices i've made in both games, friends and enemies i have, guilds i'm in, etc...is closer to a role playing experience than any standalone rpg.
Oblivion could have been that way, with a better AI, more choices besides just killing things (to make money) buying or building a orchid, farm, smithy, etc. Kvatch instead of being triggered, should have happened at a predetermined time/date...and the enemies should have kept coming whether i was there or not, eventually overwhelming the npc defenders and spreading out through the land.
Sosseres made a point that oblivion lost his interest, it's valid, there was no urgency...if you didn't trigger events they didn't happen. another that relates to play style, some like the story path, consider that an rpg...i like them too...but it is just a story, a predetermined path. an SPG.
The closest standalone game i've seen to an rpg...isn't even classed as one, X3 series, reunion or terran conflict, you can be anything, do anything within that universe. many things occur without you triggering them...you have no real path but one you choose. Dragons age wasn't d&d like, but then again, the d&d branded games weren't d&d like either, they had the rules, but little of the freedom or role play elements. If you have to follow a predetermined path to victory, given limited choices...that's not role playing. Unless of course you like that role, like the paths chosen for you.