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My complaint about BakaBT

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deadskin:
I'm not going to sit here and brainlessly point out BakaBT's flaws—we all know it has them—but I am going to say a little about how only BakaBT can praise an institution that is as longiloquent and disreputable as it itself. It is worth noting at the outset that BakaBT accuses me of being a liar. The only proven liar around here, however, is BakaBT. Only a die-hard liar like BakaBT could claim that space aliens are out to lay eggs in our innards or ooze their alien hell-slime all over us. The truth, in case you haven't already figured it out, is that purists may object to my failure to present specific examples of its batty deeds. Fortunately, I do have an explanation for this omission. The explanation demands an understanding of how I profess that we should let BakaBT prattle on about how its intimations will spread enlightenment to the masses, nurture democracy, reestablish the bonds of community, bring us closer to God, and generally work to the betterment of Man and society. At this point, such exsufflicate jibber jabber is harmless enough, albeit a little unsettling. Nevertheless, it does demonstrate how BakaBT's most progressive idea is to violate its pledge not to violate the basic tenets of journalism and scholarship. If that sounds progressive to you, you must be facing the wrong way.

You know what? BakaBT swears that we can change the truth if we don't like it the way it is. Clearly, it's living in a world of make-believe, with flowers and bells and leprechauns and magic frogs with funny little hats. Back in the real world, BakaBT once tried convincing me that the kids on the playground are happy to surrender to the school bully. Does it think I was born yesterday? I mean, it seems pretty obvious that BakaBT somehow manages to maintain a straight face when saying that a richly evocative description of a problem automatically implies the correct solution to that problem. I am greatly grieved by this occurrence of falsehood and fantastic storytelling which is the resultant of layers of social dishevelment and disillusionment amongst the fine citizens of a once organized, motivated, and cognitively enlightened civilization.

I am not interested in debating BakaBT. One can't have a debate with someone who is so willingly ignorant of the most basic tenets of the subject being discussed. If I have a bias, it is only against sophomoric pseudo-intellectuals who bad-mouth worthy causes. When one looks at the increasing influence of libertinism in our culture one sees that BakaBT's signature is on everything. So how come its fingerprints are nowhere to be found? The best answer comes from BakaBT itself. That is, if you pay attention to its hateful indiscretions you'll obviously notice that perhaps one day we will live in a world where good people are not troubled by fear of villainous franions. Until that day arrives, however, we must spread the word that BakaBT wants you to believe that it's inappropriate to teach children right from wrong. You should be wary of such claims. Be aware! Be skeptical! Think! Do not be diverted, deceived, or mesmerized by BakaBT's unprofessional perorations.

If BakaBT had even a shred of intellectual integrity, it'd admit that nowhere in the Bible does it say, "BakaBT's bons mots enhance performance standards, productivity, and competitiveness". It's that simple. I would undoubtedly not have thought it possible that BakaBT is a walking time bomb of Stalinism, but it's absolutely true. To restate the obvious: I see how important BakaBT's imperious, hectoring double standards are to its flunkies and I laugh. I laugh because it is known for walking into crowded rooms and telling everyone there that our unalienable rights are merely privileges that it can dole out or retract. Try, if you can, to concoct a statement better calculated to show how saturnine BakaBT is. You can't do it. Not only that, but one of its cheerleaders keeps throwing "scientific" studies at me, claiming they prove that human beings should be appraised by the number of things and the amount of money they possess instead of by their internal value and achievements. The studies are full of "if"s, "possible"s, "maybe"s, and various exceptions and admissions of their limitations. This leaves the studies inconclusive at best and works of fiction at worst. The only thing these studies can possibly prove is that if Jacobinism were an Olympic sport, BakaBT would clinch the gold medal.

If natural selection indeed works by removing the weakest and most genetically unfit members of a species then BakaBT is clearly going to be the first to go. My wish to be polite notwithstanding, I must remark that BakaBT fully intends to wreck our country, derail our civilization, and threaten the human race with extinction. But that's not enough, not for it. BakaBT will additionally expand, augment, and intensify the size and intrusiveness of its entourage, which is why I contend that it says that it is as innocent as a newborn lamb. Hey, BakaBT, how about telling us the truth for once? It should be clear by this point that by brainwashing its vassals with fanaticism, BakaBT makes them easy to lead, easy to program, and easy to enslave. I have always assumed that BakaBT is controlling and demanding, but the fact of the matter is that we must comment on BakaBT's traducements if we are ever to embark on a new path towards change. Yes, this is a bold, audacious, even unprecedented undertaking. Yes, it lacks any realistic guarantee of success. However, it is an undertaking that we must indubitably pursue because I'd like organizations who champion censorship in the name of free speech, intolerance in the name of tolerance, and oppression in the name of freedom to find themselves behind bars, looking out. Please re-read and memorize that sentence if you still believe that BakaBT's mistakes are always someone else's fault. To end on a more positive note: BakaBT exists within a self-contained atmosphere of toxic greed and covetousness.



xD. Enjoy
Source: The wall of text generator.

kurandoinu:
What
the
fuck.

Aneroph:
ROFL! Glad I didn't waste my time reading that giant wall of text, but that complaint generator is awesome. I'm going to use it to complain about everything that displeases me.

shabutie:
Can we rename that complaint generator to "Wall of Text Generator"

deadskin:
Done.

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