Share your weird retardisms

[AceD]

naah, he would be too amused watching you, and knowing drunks, he would like to help you

This is England, our drunks happy slap you instead

[saidin1015]

Whenever I stand up in the morning, my head spins and takes a minute for my vision to fix itself.

My eyes hurt while I'm outdoors on a sunny day without sunglasses.

Minor cleanliness OCD (I can willingly getdirty but I have to be tired or focus through it)

lack of balance (can't ride a bike, constantly shifting weight while standing)

can't sit up straight-->has now resulted in scoliosis

constantly bite my nails or the skin around them while sitting still or else I crack the joints in my fingers, wrist, knuckles, knee, ankle, neck

sometimes I feel as if my ears are stuck in the moved position although they are in their regular position

occasionally I feel the urge to move my eyes so they appear to vibrate

I mentally spar with a man named john inside my head whom I created in 4th grade after surgery; he changes his shape every once in a while and now looks like kirei

One moment I'll use some crazy word and provide definitions, the next I'm trying to figure out what the hell 'cute' is.

don't know if it counts but my body has decided its core temperature is 35.17 degrees celcius (95.3 farenheit)

[Soulreaper77]

I mentally spar with a man named john inside my head whom I created in 4th grade after surgery; he changes his shape every once in a while and now looks like kirei

This has to be the funniest habit ever. Did you kick John's ass today? xD


I can't stay in my room for too long. I have to go outside it several times an hour. Coincidentally I'm going out right now :3 

[1000mAh]

naah, he would be too amused watching you, and knowing drunks, he would like to help you

This is England, our drunks happy slap you instead

In Finland Drunks just have fun...

btw. now that I remember... I am/was algid.

[saidin1015]

I mentally spar with a man named john inside my head whom I created in 4th grade after surgery; he changes his shape every once in a while and now looks like kirei

This has to be the funniest habit ever. Did you kick John's ass today? xD


I can't stay in my room for too long. I have to go outside it several times an hour. Coincidentally I'm going out right now :3 

I never seem to be able to. Helps me remember my martial arts moves though. On another note, he's the guy I also have discussions with about theory, philosophy, etc. Which reminds me,where you constantly go out, I reflexively avoid the outdoors.  There are days where I don't step foot outside.

[flyawave]

can't sit up straight-->has now resulted in scoliosis

It makes more sense to me if you couldn't straighten your back because of minor scoliosis which got worse... but I'm no doctor
I recently discovered a retardism... I can't raise my eyebrow, so I raise both and squint with one... I never knew that was the wrong way to do it

[Soulreaper77]

I mentally spar with a man named john inside my head whom I created in 4th grade after surgery; he changes his shape every once in a while and now looks like kirei

This has to be the funniest habit ever. Did you kick John's ass today? xD


I can't stay in my room for too long. I have to go outside it several times an hour. Coincidentally I'm going out right now :3 

I never seem to be able to. Helps me remember my martial arts moves though. On another note, he's the guy I also have discussions with about theory, philosophy, etc. Which reminds me,where you constantly go out, I reflexively avoid the outdoors.  There are days where I don't step foot outside.

Just downstairs, I just can't sit behind my computer for too long. Only exception is when I watch anime.

I recently discovered a retardism... I can't raise my eyebrow, so I raise both and squint with one... I never knew that was the wrong way to do it

Can't do this either. I keep wishing that one day I can raise 1 eyebrow but I just can't lol. I can move my thumb in all sorts of weird positions though.

[kurandoinu]

I can't raise one eyebrow either. The rest of my family can. I use my fingers instead to show one eyebrow being raised.

[flyawave]

^lol that must be fun... my method may result in one eye being permanently squinty

[phufham]

I can raise one eyebrow easy, i remember once in school the teacher asked if anyone in class could and some people tried by twisting their head.

[x5ga]

In hospital today there was an old lady who had both her arms amputated from the elbow. She came to the hospital with some other problems so I had to go and ask her about her medical history. I entered the room she was in, saw she had both of her arms amputated from the elbows down, looked at her face, then at her missing hands, then at her face again, then I finally realize that I have to be polite and greet her. So, while staring at the place where her forearms and hands should have been I say to her "săru'mâinile", which in Romanian is a very common polite greeting meaning literally "I'm kissing your hands" (approx). So I almost burst into laughter realizing what I have said to her, she gives me this weird look, and I have to exit the room because I couldn't hold my laughter in. Then I felt bad for a bit, but it went away quickly.

[Soulreaper77]

In hospital today there was an old lady who had both her arms amputated from the elbow. She came to the hospital with some other problems so I had to go and ask her about her medical history. I entered the room she was in, saw she had both of her arms amputated from the elbows down, looked at her face, then at her missing hands, then at her face again, then I finally realize that I have to be polite and greet her. So, while staring at the place where her forearms and hands should have been I say to her "săru'mâinile", which in Romanian is a very common polite greeting meaning literally "I'm kissing your hands" (approx). So I almost burst into laughter realizing what I have said to her, she gives me this weird look, and I have to exit the room because I couldn't hold my laughter in. Then I felt bad for a bit, but it went away quickly.

"[...] Look at your hand, now back to me. I have it, it's an oyster with 2 tickets to that thing you love. Look again, the tickets are now DIAMONDS."

But that was horrible man. I feel sorry for the lady. Don't become Setsuna ok? xD

[JoonasTo]

I sometimes forget to wash my teeth after sex or the next morning.
Trying to concentrate on a physics lecture when suddenly your mouth tastes like pussy is kinda hard.

My worst fail with that was forgetting to wash my teeth and the next day I was going on a week long army training in the woods.
Yay for tasting a woman in your mouth for three days.
Talk about epic fails...

In hospital today there was an old lady who had both her arms amputated from the elbow. She came to the hospital with some other problems so I had to go and ask her about her medical history. I entered the room she was in, saw she had both of her arms amputated from the elbows down, looked at her face, then at her missing hands, then at her face again, then I finally realize that I have to be polite and greet her. So, while staring at the place where her forearms and hands should have been I say to her "săru'mâinile", which in Romanian is a very common polite greeting meaning literally "I'm kissing your hands" (approx). So I almost burst into laughter realizing what I have said to her, she gives me this weird look, and I have to exit the room because I couldn't hold my laughter in. Then I felt bad for a bit, but it went away quickly.

For everything else, there's mastercard.

[phufham]

In hospital today there was an old lady who had both her arms amputated from the elbow. She came to the hospital with some other problems so I had to go and ask her about her medical history. I entered the room she was in, saw she had both of her arms amputated from the elbows down, looked at her face, then at her missing hands, then at her face again, then I finally realize that I have to be polite and greet her. So, while staring at the place where her forearms and hands should have been I say to her "săru'mâinile", which in Romanian is a very common polite greeting meaning literally "I'm kissing your hands" (approx). So I almost burst into laughter realizing what I have said to her, she gives me this weird look, and I have to exit the room because I couldn't hold my laughter in. Then I felt bad for a bit, but it went away quickly.

At least you tried, i wouldn't have known what to say.

[Superchunk55]

Found a new one i cant even if it was the only way to not be killed say cinnamon.  It always comes out as cimanin.

[Tiffanys]

I sometimes forget to wash my teeth after sex or the next morning.
Trying to concentrate on a physics lecture when suddenly your mouth tastes like pussy is kinda hard.

My worst fail with that was forgetting to wash my teeth and the next day I was going on a week long army training in the woods.
Yay for tasting a woman in your mouth for three days.
Talk about epic fails...

LOL wow.

[Nyking754]

i always hold my breath during a scene in a movie where the characters are under water

[Teaparty]

I sometimes forget to wash my teeth after sex or the next morning.
Trying to concentrate on a physics lecture when suddenly your mouth tastes like pussy is kinda hard.

My worst fail with that was forgetting to wash my teeth and the next day I was going on a week long army training in the woods.
Yay for tasting a woman in your mouth for three days.
Talk about epic fails...

Would be funny if you had an erect penis the whole time during lecture/army training.
"Kids, wash your teeth or your mouth will forever taste like pussy."

i always hold my breath during a scene in a movie where the characters are under water

I always feel a bit of irritation on my throat whenever someone in a movie gets sliced in the throat.
Maybe it's normal. Maybe it's just because I'm afraid of blood.

I recently discovered a retardism... I can't raise my eyebrow, so I raise both and squint with one... I never knew that was the wrong way to do it

I can only raise my left eyebrow but have a hard time with my right...

[flyawave]

oh yeah, I grab my arm when someone in a film breaks his/her arm

[Havoc10K]

@JoonasTo

I kinda feel bad for you.

---
when i watch a movie of anime where someone falls on bare skin it kinda hurts me too lol.

Found a new one i cant even if it was the only way to not be killed say cinnamon.  It always comes out as cimanin.

I found out my sister,mother,grandmother,aunt,female cousins could not say properly one tongue twister, ever, correctly.
Guess it runs in the family lol, i think it's the simplest tongue twister I heard though, only two words.
can translate, I bet at start some of you will make mistakes
"LOYAL YOLA"
none of the girls in my family can spell it right ever, anything else flawlessly