That's it! Make a fool out of America. That would be incredibly good for the country's PR. People can't really hate something if they don't take it seriously. This is genius.
I didn't know it needed to be done.
No kidding. We're already a laughingstock. It grates on me when members of my own family contribute to this image.
On a good note, my immediate house woes have been resolved. The electrician didn't have to extend my riser, and instead anchored that sucker to the block of my house so thoroughly that the house itself will have to come down before it will. That plus some related electrical stuff was $500. The carpenter was very reasonable -- only cost me $180 to tear out the broken soffett board and replace it, much cheaper than I expected. Turns out that electic company missed the stud when they anchored the ground line, so those fuckers are 100% responsible for damaging my house. The fact that they missed the stud is what caused the board to ultimately split, since the anchor was not supported properly.
On the bright side, though, I probably wouldn't have known to repair the riser if the soffett board hadn't been broken. And the first hurricane that hit my area would have probably brought the riser down, which would have been probably a few grand to fix all of the damage.
And it turns out that the carpenter does general home renovation, so I'm bringing them back out to do a few other home projects for me.
So some good came out of all of this mess after all.