^ I'd say you need a boyfriend^^
Well, from my experience, the one good thing about Dell is that when something blows up (HW), they give you replacement that is better than the original. But the rest is pretty much what the topic title says.
And fixing it yourself is cool, but personally, I do not dare to open my laptop and delve into it's guts, because somehow I have no idea what laptop hardware looks like.
Sure, many calls will be about some trivial stuff, but on the other hand, if you start off by saying what is wrong, they may consider it, rather than ask 120 questions in given order with no regards to what your actual problem is. So yeah, again, what the topic title says. 
I know how stupid those questions are, but I also do know from my own experience how misleading a user's problem description can be: Today, for example, I wasted 2 hours on finding a "downloading our reports is broken" bug when it was actually a "some of the entries don't get loaded, so the download button doesn't appear" bug, which appeared in a totally different module due to a timeout being too short... and there's always the case where one misses something obvious^^
When I said fixing it myself, I was actually talking about desktop PCs... I wouldn't dare to disassemble my laptop either - as long as I don't have a printout of the "how to disassemble the [insert product name here]" instructions, that is.