Well, I think you need to be more specific about your problem. You tried to convert your animes to a format compatible with your dvd player, but you can't change the language and the subtitles. Can't you change the language of the files you converted when you play them on your pc or is problem only present on your dvd player? If it's the second case, your dvd player might not support container with multiple audio streams.
btw. I used to do the same thing, but found a more convenient methode. I now stream the video from my pc to the ps3 with a tool called Java PS3 Media Server. If you own a ps3 it might be worth checking out.