General editing, and also timing. The WhyNot script wasn't scene timed. From the looks of it, my guess (I could be wrong though) is that the script wasn't properly shifted from the DVD to BD. The timing seems to be consistently (at least for the first few minutes) 5-7 frames late.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:04.00,0:02:10.37,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,With a record 300,000 sales, the Long Seller now comes with an even more affordable price!
-Long Seller should not be a proper noun. Also, it should be "at" an even more affordable price, not "with".
Dialogue: 0,0:02:28.49,0:02:31.23,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,200 yen. The cost of sticker.
-"200 yen. The cost of the sticker." or if you don't want the line to be awkward and follow Japanese sentence structure: "{That's} 200 yen for the sticker."
Dialogue: 0,0:03:51.80,0:03:55.45,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I'm inexperienced but please treat me well!
-Missing comma before "but" due to coordinating conjunction.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:26.47,0:04:28.26,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I guess it can't be helped.
-lolcliche?
Dialogue: 0,0:05:12.67,0:05:14.39,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,SPICY!!!
-Do you really need to TYPE IN CAPS AND USE THREE EXCLAMATIONS?!!!
Dialogue: 0,0:05:56.91,0:05:58.37,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Wow~
-Not a fan of tildes in subs.
Dialogue: 0,0:08:07.81,0:08:09.92,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You see, money is-
-Em-dash
Dialogue: 0,0:10:27.60,0:10:31.36,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Oh? So you live in that weird nii-chan's place?
-Can easily translate nii-chan in this context.
Those are just from a basic glance at the first few minutes. There are many others I could nitpick, but you get the idea. If you require more, I could list them at a later time.
