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You have 0 friends
Ixarku:
Seems like I'm a bit in the minority here, likely because I'm older and not part of the i-generation or generation Y. I have 0 online-only friends that I talk to on a regular basis. Of the people I met via online gaming, only 1 of them I still talk to, via email about once a year. Everyone else has fallen by the wayside.
As for RL friends who I've spent time with outside of work (and almost all of whom I've not met thru work), there are around a dozen or 15 or so that I see off and on at varying times. Some friends I go months or even years without seeing, but every time we talk or meet up, it's basically just like old times and nothing has changed between us. These are people I do stuff with, and generally trust enough to ask or do favors for & talk about personal things I wouldn't share with an acquaintance. Maybe 8 or 10 I consider close friends.
I've been at my current job for 10+ years, so many of my coworkers I like & know well enough to consider them work-friends -- I care about what happens to them and might help them outside of work if asked, but generally don't spend time outside of work with them. (The majority of my coworkers are around my dad's age, so the generational gap has a bit to do with it, plus I like to keep work & home life separated when possible.)
fohfoh:
I'm more the type to really have fun with people in real life. But I have a few online only friends as well.
To have "good friends" you'll rarely exceed 5 or so. If you exceed 5, chances are it's a HUGE tight knit group with everyone buddies with everyone else. Those types of groups. Usually people who grow up together and they pick up a few new people here and there.
But having friends on "your terms", keep in mind that sometimes you might be overly "needy". A proper friend should be one that is mutual, not one side needing the other arbitrarily. Like I said, you have to work towards friendship. You do nothing for acquaintances.
I also agree, the word "friend" has been treated like dirt. People are now much ruder and anti-social than normal. That which was considered "gentlemanly" a decade ago is now treated as "hitting on someone". Fuck, people can't be polite anymore?
TMRNetShark:
--- Quote from: fohfoh on July 19, 2011, 01:12:10 AM ---I'm more the type to really have fun with people in real life. But I have a few online only friends as well.
To have "good friends" you'll rarely exceed 5 or so. If you exceed 5, chances are it's a HUGE tight knit group with everyone buddies with everyone else. Those types of groups. Usually people who grow up together and they pick up a few new people here and there.
But having friends on "your terms", keep in mind that sometimes you might be overly "needy". A proper friend should be one that is mutual, not one side needing the other arbitrarily. Like I said, you have to work towards friendship. You do nothing for acquaintances.
I also agree, the word "friend" has been treated like dirt. People are now much ruder and anti-social than normal. That which was considered "gentlemanly" a decade ago is now treated as "hitting on someone". Fuck, people can't be polite anymore?
--- End quote ---
Polite isn't the right word for it. I totally know what you mean though. If you are nice to someone, they will think you have ulterior motives (unless they are a friend that knows you). This is why I've stopped treating girls like girls and treating them like men. The men are men, the women are men, the children are men.... hell... even the ducks are men in my book. At the same time, don't go out of your way just to be mean or overly "politically" correct. No one likes a [Insert noun]-Nazi... nor do people trust people's seemingly good intentions.
This is why I: A. Make jokes out of everything (where appropriate), B. Never smack talk unless I have a leg to stand on, and C. Don't give a FUCK.
BTW, fohfoh... are people hitting on you? If so... aren't they just being nice or do they really seem like they want in on your pants? :P
Soryon:
A friend is the kind of person you can call names and make fun of and they wont bat an eye and the can return the treatment.
When you are comfortable enough with each other to know how each other feels no matter what they say. Or at least that's how my friends and I are. We can say things to each other that would get your ass kicked if you said it to anyone you did not know well but its just part of hanging out to us. Calling someone a bitch one minute then buying their ticket to the ball game the next.
It might just be the way we grew up tho. I can think of a few times strangers would think that we were about to start fighting and when they interjected we were just like "What? Na dude, everything is kosher!"
I guess what I am saying is that a friend to me is someone I can be 100% unreserved with. Someone you can get into a fist fight with and be laughing it up together a few minutes later. Bonds that cant be broken without putting in some serious effort to sever.
fohfoh:
Man, you have no idea how many miss communications I have ever had.
But yes, a few. Holy hell, some of them were crazies.
I frequently have a few friends who tell me, "Stop being so nice to people. People misunderstand." to which I respond, "I'm seriously supposed to be assholes to people?"
Response: "I dunno what you're supposed to do, but you're too nice to people."
Seriously?
But yes, I consider this person a friend. I often fight with this person.
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