Author Topic: Your Funeral  (Read 1846 times)

Offline Soryon

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Your Funeral
« on: November 30, 2011, 07:15:03 AM »
What would be your ideal funeral when you die?

I am sure that no matter what I want, I wont get it because what I want is so outlandish.

I want my dead body simply tossed on the floor and then a keg of beer on either side. Then all my friends have to walk up to my body in order to get drunk, and knowing them, they will. If a Weekend at Bernies episode wasnt so illegal, I would start saving up for it right now. I want to make my friends laugh and my family uncomfortable.

But then my burial would be simple. I just want t be laid to rest underneath a tree. Either that or cremated, but I have so many ideas for those ashes that I dont think I could decide on one. Ill just take the tree.

So what would be your ideal funeral?
« Last Edit: November 30, 2011, 07:37:01 AM by Soryon »

Online kitamesume

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Re: Your Funeral
« Reply #1 on: November 30, 2011, 08:57:32 AM »
i want mine sent to the sun, thats why i outa get me a property on the moon!

ok enough jokes, i want to be cremated, rather than get feasted by worms.

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Offline JoonasTo

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Re: Your Funeral
« Reply #2 on: November 30, 2011, 09:32:41 AM »
Considering I'm dead. I don't care. Just thor me into a ditch somewhere.

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Offline Ixarku

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Re: Your Funeral
« Reply #3 on: November 30, 2011, 10:52:47 AM »
At about 2:48, this pretty much sums up my feelings on being dead, except not quite so much self-hate as in the rest of the song:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y1s5MBsiY1Y
 
I'm more concerned about making sure my estate is in order so that my family/friends have an easier time picking up the pieces.  At some point, I should look into making a will.
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Offline 1000mAh

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Re: Your Funeral
« Reply #4 on: November 30, 2011, 12:31:42 PM »
just toss my corpse somewhere, like I even care where, then plant some beautiful tree somewhere, and a sign that says; in memory of (my name) who did nothing notable during his life.

that would be just so perfect 8)

Offline flyawave

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Re: Your Funeral
« Reply #5 on: November 30, 2011, 12:44:14 PM »
Seeing as I'm probably donating my body to science/ donating my organs, there won't be much of a body to bury/ burn, but there'd still be a ceremony. A short one, like; "Today, we lost a don. He shall be missed" And that's about it.
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Offline AnimeJanai

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Re: Your Funeral
« Reply #6 on: November 30, 2011, 01:08:21 PM »
If it was to purely conservative concerns:

Then I would make sure everything is given away with good timing so that family (and a few others who I like) have all the wealth and not the taxman.  Get the final no-fault cheapest possible divorce papers signed so that the costs from my death do not transfer to wife or other family members.  Have my poor decrepit body deposited on the doorstep of the politician I like least.  I want to be "useful" right to the very end and annoying a career politician is good.  Only problem is that most of them live in guarded walled-off elitist communities, so getting to them is hard.  I guess that is how they separate themselves from the people they ostensibly govern/rule over in today's still-evolving neo-feudalism.

For homeless and poor, the hospital governing body has interesting approaches to avoid taking care of them by just giving out the most rudimentary minimums such as aspirin or pain killers in hopes they will then die of exposure which is much cheaper than admitting them to the hospital.  For people who try the tactic of stumbling in to emergency to take care of things, the laws were changed and an "urgent care" facility branch of the hospital was opened about a mile away as walking goes (crow would fly there in shorter distance though).  That's to treat non-surgical emergencies which is a clever and legal way to force the indigent away from the hospital proper and put them far away and in a place that will force them to sign paperwork to owe money or not provide treatment without payment options signed.  That type of legal rigamarole was done because the hospital executives wanted to go private, but the public kept on voting the way it did.  Since it's staying public for sure now, the hospital has been doing some strange things to try remaining profitable.  The hospital executive board reminds me of politicians who forgot they were elected by votes to serve the voters but instead serve their own personal prosperity, then the prosperity of their family, then their friends, then their business allies, then their party, then associated politicians and favour seekers, then the voters last.  The gov't will then cremate me as that is the cheapest approach.  It has been throwing ashes into the county trash dump along with all the other poor or homeless people it was forced to cremate due to bodies being found here and there.  That was made possible by ruling cremation ashes are sterile and can be placed in a dumpster provided it is packaged so that powdered ash doesn't become airborne.  A friend works at a funeral home and I got a tour years ago.  The gov't spreads the "body pickup" contracts around to all the funeral homes and that seems to be the biggest source of business for many of them!  I suspect some funeral places form not so much as to serve the public prepaying for a funeral plan or paying a retainer fee for a funeral plot, but rather, to serve the cremation market of the large number of indigent bodies.  A HUGE HUGE number of people die destitute due to medical expenses because as elderly, they get tossed for running out of money for utilities and rent.  The exposure on the streets kills them pretty fast, so there actually is some huge number of dead per day that the cremation services pick up.  If there is overflow like more than 40 dead indigents per day, then the funeral homes (like the one my friend is at) get some of that gov't body overflow.  Since I would be dead, I don't mind if my ashes are mixed with kitty litter poop, diapers, or thrown away DVDs or Blurays of Guilty Crown whose former owners had loyally dropped the series decade after decade.  I'd be in good company because I've dropped Guilty Crown every day for having terrible plot, music, and character design.

Offline Ultra_Magnus

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Re: Your Funeral
« Reply #7 on: November 30, 2011, 01:40:58 PM »
I plan to be cryonically frozen until I can be reanimated, so no funeral for me :laugh: .

Offline Sarapico

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Re: Your Funeral
« Reply #8 on: November 30, 2011, 01:43:05 PM »
... buried is, weird, and ends up giving too much trouble to others. Cremated and the ashes dropped somewhere will probably be the way to go.

Or do like Strong Bad:
http://www.homestarrunner.com/sbemail168.html
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Offline Saras

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Re: Your Funeral
« Reply #9 on: November 30, 2011, 03:00:41 PM »
I'll demand a cover of Tom Jones - Sex bomb to be played by the orchestra. Other than that, don't care.

Offline Burkingam

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Re: Your Funeral
« Reply #10 on: November 30, 2011, 03:42:07 PM »
Wait what? Why would I die?
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Offline Supai

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Re: Your Funeral
« Reply #11 on: November 30, 2011, 04:27:01 PM »
Cremation. If there is no corpse, there can't be a zombie either.
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Offline Soryon

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Re: Your Funeral
« Reply #12 on: November 30, 2011, 04:35:19 PM »
Oh, wow. I did make this thread last night  ::)

Oh well, I should ask to be preserved in alcohol so I can spend my death the same way I spent my life. Then after its well aged Ill try to get one of my friends to bottle a bunch of it and give it to people I dont particularly like.

Offline mgz

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Re: Your Funeral
« Reply #13 on: November 30, 2011, 11:03:42 PM »
my ideal funeral is likely not feasible as it requires a trebuchet to put the finishing touches on my viking funeral (boat set a drift set flames using trebuchet projectile)

So just a regular viking funeral where it is lit a flame and then set a drift would be fine

Offline Ixarku

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Re: Your Funeral
« Reply #14 on: December 01, 2011, 01:56:01 AM »
my ideal funeral is likely not feasible as it requires a trebuchet to put the finishing touches on my viking funeral (boat set a drift set flames using trebuchet projectile)

So just a regular viking funeral where it is lit a flame and then set a drift would be fine

As soon as I read "trebuchet" I imagined that you wanted your body catapulted out to sea, or better yet over the walls of your enemy's castle.  You know, to give them the plague or small pox or herpes or something.
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Offline mgz

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Re: Your Funeral
« Reply #15 on: December 01, 2011, 02:34:21 AM »
my ideal funeral is likely not feasible as it requires a trebuchet to put the finishing touches on my viking funeral (boat set a drift set flames using trebuchet projectile)

So just a regular viking funeral where it is lit a flame and then set a drift would be fine

As soon as I read "trebuchet" I imagined that you wanted your body catapulted out to sea, or better yet over the walls of your enemy's castle.  You know, to give them the plague or small pox or herpes or something.
believe me i actually considered hurling body with trebuchet into flaming boat but that was much more difficult with the physics

Online kitamesume

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Re: Your Funeral
« Reply #16 on: December 01, 2011, 03:05:41 AM »
living + funeral does not add up imho, unless you wanna hold a funeral while you're still alive. cremating you while you're still breathing or or burying you alive?

well planning for your funeral isn't really a bad thing but this thread sounds like you're jinxing your self XD

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Offline NaRu

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Re: Your Funeral
« Reply #17 on: December 01, 2011, 05:04:01 AM »
Why would I force my love ones to spend thousands of dollars just to put in the ground. Just use glad trash bags (heavy duty) instead of a coffin and just throw me somewhere. Im dead so I don't care.

Offline Burkingam

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Re: Your Funeral
« Reply #18 on: December 01, 2011, 05:07:22 AM »
I would like it if people could cook me and eat me.

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Offline flyawave

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Re: Your Funeral
« Reply #19 on: December 01, 2011, 11:48:09 AM »
Is it more environmentally friendly to be cremated, or have a responsibly sourced, biodegradable coffin?
There must a be a reason for tanking things. And all must be in certain balance.
But what that balance is, must depend only on you, nobody else.