Are You Alone?

[elvikun]

Sorry, but I really had to do this. And yes, the red is the added part.

(click to show/hide)

Wow 5 pages already on this topic. Let me add some more.

Ah.. I don't believe in love any more.. i just need a guy who'll be like 10 years older than i am. That's it. A man with whom i'll feel safe, and whom i'll enjoy kind of

Let me "open my pink book of sex *cough* I mean 'love'"
- be physically strong. It also automatically makes you more confident. Doing martial arts also helps.
+Yes.
- Girls are like taking a military test. Tell her what she wants to hear. Don't tell her the truth about how she looks, smells, etc. unless it's really positive of course. Especially when talking about her weight or you can kiss her good bye without actually kissing her. Girls are really sensitive about their looks.
+Advice is "Lie, lie, lie and then lie."? If she's a fat pig, tell her she's fat (leave out the pig part). If she smells, tell her that. If she's ugly... Well, don't say it straight, but don't go "Oh no, you're so beutiful". Don't bring those topics up, but don't lie about them when asked. Just do it in more sensiteve way than I showed.
- be secure, know no shame.
+Be secure, know shame. Really. There are situations where only shame stops you from doing stupid stuff.
- be funny, at least a little (it's not that hard really).
+Be funny when you are such a person. Forcefull people usually end up in really awkward situations.
- have some hobbies but not too much or they feel dumb because they can't catch up in conversations or you will end up summing em all up and getting lost in your hobbies. Happened to me a few times -.-
+ If you talk about hobbies, talk about those you actually have. Don't make more up to look cool, don't hide some to look stupid. Wait, what the hell?
- DON'T talk about exes, previous relationships, blabla.
+Don't talk about exes in "Ah, she had so nice eyes, you could get lost in those for hours *siiight* " this kind of manner. Everyone loves jokes about awkward and hopeless exes tho, boy or girl.
- Indeed being older than the girl you want seems to be a big plus for girls.
+Really? I means, sure every 12 years old is so proud of having older boyfried, that doesn't really work after highshool.
- Being taller than the girl you want is also a big plus. Nothing much you can do about it really.
+True, but that sort of comes with coming an average male, no?
- Having money and a big car seems to work too. Well at least don't say you're unemployed or working at the supermarket. It will make you look like a loser that they will have to carry. If it's the case don't lie but make a joke or so and try to change the subject to something she likes to talk about.
+YES. If you are dating very stupid barbie girls. And intend to marry them.
- Don't try to imitate tricks from movies. They suck and don't work irl.
+No opinion, heh.
- Don't EVER go to a girl being 'overly horny' or you will fail really bad.
+Guess so, especially if it's the first date. "I bought you a dinner, so I can, like... right?" doesn't really work.
- Don't waste your time on 'first liners'. They don't work and they make you more nervous. Plus they probably heard em all already at the age of ~ 20 and above. Unless they are really ugly of course lol.
+Not 100% sure what was meant by that, but I'd say just... Don't try to prepare some kindof speech or a plan. It will show. Not in the good way.
- Listen to the girl. Don't do all the talking. This way there is also less chance for you to screw up . Also remember what she tells you and perhaps repeat a little of what she said before to confirm that you really were listening.
+Ever had a friend and spoke to that friend? You prolly know what talking is about. If you have to fake listening and interest, do you really want to be with that girl?
- Always smile. Not like a clown but always look happy/content.
+If and when you are happy and cotent.
- If possible be the center of attention at parties, crowds, school, whatever. Who cares if the teacher doesn't like you. The  girls will like you. Even tough you make stupid remarks during a class it's better than being the invisible guy.
+Everyone loves attention whores. Oh wait... 
- Try, try and keep trying. Just hit on as many girls as you can. Preferably on girls not from your area in case you really mess up haha. This way you get better and you might get lucky. Then when you have enough experience you go to the girl you want and you make her yours. Some guy once said to me "women don't fall in love. You have to make em fall in love (with you). Still can't get her? Then she ain't worth it . Go look for another one.
+Either that, or you might not be worth it. Which then sucks for you a great deal.


Almost everything from the above is out of my personal experience. It might or might not work for you or in your area. But it did for me. Tough most of em are just basic rules.

I'm sorry I just felt like giving you advice on your advice - for I was not sure, whether you are so awkward person or percieve all womed to be that stupid.


The hints seem to be quite right if you are looking for one-night-stand with no followup tho.

Final hint? Don't act. Be who you are. If she won't like you, well. That happens. If you won't like her because of what she seems like, that also happens. Don't force anything. You can just make your life a bit more colorfull looking, sure. If you do some sport and you are SURE she doesn't  know that scene, tell you won some small-time local competition, when the talk goes that way, even tho you in fact suck. Just don't take it too far and remember what you said.

*sigh*

[metro.]

Don't act? Lol.

Clearly the people you spend time around are like those I meet on a daily basis.

Most of your advice is lol though

[elvikun]

Don't act? Lol.

Clearly the people you spend time around are like those I meet on a daily basis.

Most of your advice is lol though

Want to have one or a few colorfull nights with a person? Analyze with smalltalk and then lie like hell to be as close to what the person might want. Sure.

Want a relationship? Don't act. Especially if you are looking for the fabled "love" which seems to be the case in this thread. Or find a partner that isn't very perceptive. That might work just as well. 

Edit: Clarification: I'm not saying puke out all the facts of your life, I'm just saying don't act. Especially not according to this grand plan. That's almost offensive. And fabricating a perfect personality won't work, because you can't act well enough to keep the bubble from bursting for long. Not many people know how to do that.

[metro.]

Oh sorry, I thought my lack of desire for a relationship was clear.

Also, is English your first language? Some of the things you say just seem a bit off to me.

[elvikun]

Oh sorry, I thought my lack of desire for a relationship was clear.

Also, is English your first language? Some of the things you say just seem a bit off to me.

Anything you can't understand? Because I haven't read what I wrote. Maybe there's something gross in there. Whatever is wrong is caused by the fact I am awake for too long, hungry, hyperactive, in-game and old twisted me.

[metro.]

No just some of the things you say seem off, like I said

Also, I think people are mixing up "alone" and "lonely".

[Kendjin]

I read the title, to which I got up and locked my door. It was only when I sat back down I realised it was about being single. I was mostly just worried you'd posted this topic to find people on their own in their houses as an easy target O.o

I need to lay off the anime, making me paranoid.

[rathoriel]

Ah.. I don't believe in love any more.. i just need a guy who'll be like 10 years older than i am. That's it. A man with whom i'll feel safe, and whom i'll enjoy kind of

would you settle for 20 years older

[SilverDash]

So many posts again... We should go to a chatroom...

Yes indeed. It all depends on what you want. A relationship or just a single or a few 'intimidate moments'. That pretty much changes everything. Besides, to me, the process of getting a few 'intimidate moments' is also a game. It can be really fun to do. Even if it means lying a bit here and there to 'cheat your way through'.

But some people hate it when you talk about exes no matter how you talk about them. I prefer to leave the entire topic out just to be on the safe side.

If you are depressed or just had a crappy day and still want the girl then faking to be happy won't hurt imo. It might make up for your crappy day. Even tough most first dates mean no sex anyway. It usually happens at the 2nd date.

But yes everything depends on who you are and what you want from the other person. Obviously 'high school stuff' wont work at the age of 30 and women aren't looking for a 'bad boy' anymore. At least not so many anymore.

[metro.]

So many posts again... We should go to a chatroom...

Yes indeed. It all depends on what you want. A relationship or just a single or a few 'intimidate moments'. That pretty much changes everything. Besides, to me, the process of getting a few 'intimidate moments' is also a game. It can be really fun to do. Even if it means lying a bit here and there to 'cheat your way through'.

But some people hate it when you talk about exes no matter how you talk about them. I prefer to leave the entire topic out just to be on the safe side.

If you are depressed or just had a crappy day and still want the girl then faking to be happy won't hurt imo. It might make up for your crappy day. Even tough most first dates mean no sex anyway. It usually happens at the 2nd date.

But yes everything depends on who you are and what you want from the other person. Obviously 'high school stuff' wont work at the age of 30 and women aren't looking for a 'bad boy' anymore. At least not so many anymore.

You might be sad to know that you're sadly wrong.

Danger is attractive, just what you classify as a "bad boy" changes. At least that's what I've seen.

[SilverDash]

haha. Might . On what text exactly do you base that?

EDIT:
Hey you modified your post. Now my post makes no sense...

[elvikun]

So many posts again... We should go to a chatroom...

Yes indeed. It all depends on what you want. A relationship or just a single or a few 'intimidate moments'. That pretty much changes everything. Besides, to me, the process of getting a few 'intimidate moments' is also a game. It can be really fun to do. Even if it means lying a bit here and there to 'cheat your way through'.

But some people hate it when you talk about exes no matter how you talk about them. I prefer to leave the entire topic out just to be on the safe side.

If you are depressed or just had a crappy day and still want the girl then faking to be happy won't hurt imo. It might make up for your crappy day. Even tough most first dates mean no sex anyway. It usually happens at the 2nd date.

But yes everything depends on who you are and what you want from the other person. Obviously 'high school stuff' wont work at the age of 30 and women aren't looking for a 'bad boy' anymore. At least not so many anymore.

I don't know. If you spend evening with me, following your guidelines, you would probably end up ditched and dead somewhere in the forest by the midnight. But I guess it might work just fine on those girls making duckfaces on facebook.
You sure made me wonder how old you are. If you don't mind...

PS: I saw the original. You will look crazy only to others. Yay.

[Raylightsa3]

So many posts again... We should go to a chatroom...

Yes indeed. It all depends on what you want. A relationship or just a single or a few 'intimidate moments'. That pretty much changes everything. Besides, to me, the process of getting a few 'intimidate moments' is also a game. It can be really fun to do. Even if it means lying a bit here and there to 'cheat your way through'.

But some people hate it when you talk about exes no matter how you talk about them. I prefer to leave the entire topic out just to be on the safe side.

If you are depressed or just had a crappy day and still want the girl then faking to be happy won't hurt imo. It might make up for your crappy day. Even tough most first dates mean no sex anyway. It usually happens at the 2nd date.

But yes everything depends on who you are and what you want from the other person. Obviously 'high school stuff' wont work at the age of 30 and women aren't looking for a 'bad boy' anymore. At least not so many anymore.

I don't know. If you spend evening with me, following your guidelines, you would probably end up ditched and dead somewhere in the forest by the midnight. But I guess it might work just fine on those girls making duckfaces on facebook.
You sure made me wonder how old you are. If you don't mind...

PS: I saw the original. You will look crazy only to others. Yay.

this is interesting 

[SilverDash]

This is the internet. I don't mind revealing that I usually are into short stands and such.

But most of the girls didn't mind it in the end. Once again. I'm not a fucktard. I do lie a bit when I feel it's needed presuming I don't want a long term. But often we both had a good time so I don't feel guilty. And sometimes we even have some more intimidate moments again months after it and talk about the people we dated in the meantime or how we screwed up and etc. etc. It's not like they hate me. Maybe some people are now like.. omg... you sir are sick! Well... Don't care .

Okay there are in total 2 females that actually had problems with breaking up. I feel guilty for one of em because before me it seemed she had only REALLY bad boyfriends. I mean the wrong kinda guys. But hell, how could I know that she kept that part out when we dated. I would have left right away if I knew that at forehand. But that is a part I guess where I got lied into bed lol. But that's not too much. You probably made more than 2 males cry I bet .

And no I'm not dating professor or anything. I too am an amateur but I found my way around.

With elvikun I'd say I have near 0 chance after she reads my posts haha. Attempting to date a girl after that would be near suicide unless she's a nympho or a few other rare cases like getting over a hard break up. I doubt any of that is the case here.

But yes I'll admit. I'm not the ideal boyfriend. But this is a funny topic so I don't care. I'm not sleepy cause I slept too long today so I need something to bridge me a few hours.

About my age: I'm in my twenties. Still haven't catched any STD's either. I do regular check ups. If I could chose between my way and Rays way I'd take my way. Life is over before you know it. Go have fun and do crazy shit 

[elvikun]

With elvikun I'd say I have near 0 chance after she reads my posts haha. Attempting to date a girl after that would be near suicide unless she's a nympho. But those are so rare to find.

But yes I'll admit. I'm not the ideal boyfriend. But this is a funny topic so I don't care. I'm not sleepy cause I slept too long today so I need something to bridge me a few hours.

About my age: I'm in my twenties. Still haven't catched any STD's either. I do regular check ups.

Oi, you misunderstood me, you would be dead if I did not read the post After reading it, I would just smile and let you buy a big dinner. Expensive one.

Well, on the serious note, it's just that what you wrote is so old, so obvious and in a way so offensive, that girl must be really simple or  really horny (lot of those around too) to believe it. That's all I wanted to point out. Also, when a girl is fat, annoying, ugly, stupid and smelly, don't lie about it, just don't go out with her at the first place

Just trying to save faithfull readers from getting dumped in some terrible way after they meet a girl who isn't simpleton and try the "barbie tactics"on her. Well, great, now I made it all sound bad.

[metro.]

Yeah damnit elvi why are you such a bad person?

[SilverDash]

Okay so I buy you an expensive dinner and we have a date

Yes those facts may be old but they still work. And the kind of girls that I usually date... Mmmm... I'd be prejudiced to say that I also had 'higher caliber' girls that are not barbies. So I can't judge that.
Guess it's about time I go out again. But work and anime lately... Damn you christmas freeleech! Because of those Gintama jokes I started watching Golgo 13 too now. Didn't even finish Gunslinger Girls...

[elvikun]

Yeah damnit elvi why are you such a bad person?

No, I'm the good hero here. Or mabye I just mot girly enough to understand how could someone possibly fall for those things and not manly enough to uderstand how someone could possibly consider using them.
That must be it.
Damn, I made it sound bad again.

Okay so I buy you an expensive dinner and we have a date

Yes those facts may be old but they still work. And the kind of girls that I usually date... Mmmm... I'd be prejudiced to say that I also had 'higher caliber' girls that are not barbies. So I can't judge that.
Guess it's about time I go out again. But work and anime lately... Damn you christmas freeleech! Because of those Gintama jokes I started watching Golgo 13 too now. Didn't even finish Gunslinger Girls...

Well, as above.    ...And I just don't know. I'm loosing faith in humanity once more.

[Kendjin]

I think I'm single cause I only manage to get half way through posts in this topic and feel like its starting to sound like too much effort. Probably for the best, I imagine I'd be hell to deal with, would be all for it one minute, then I'd probably lose interest.

Better I don't get involved at all, that way I'm gonna hurt someone's feelings.

[metro.]

You ever had faith?

And it's quite easy to make people fall for perceived truths.