Discussion Forums > The Lounge
Are You Alone?
Nikkoru:
--- Quote from: Ixarku on March 17, 2012, 09:52:48 AM ---
--- Quote from: harpy on March 16, 2012, 09:50:06 PM ---I wonder - what do you people think - what relationships should be about? (beside fun ad free stuff if you are a female)
--- End quote ---
There's no single, absolute answer to this. Different people want different things, and that's entirely okay. Some people want love & companionship; others just want sex and to have a good time; still more might be looking for someone to take care of them, or for someone they can control. The important part is honesty & communication. Establish expectations early, make sure the other person understands your feelings and is on board, but be ready to change your mind and react to the situation as it develops. It's fine to be indecisive as long as you don't lead the other person on or otherwise deceive them. It kills me how many times I see drama unfold simply because someone in a relationship is unwilling to or is incapable of expressing their feelings.
Me personally, my passions don't stir easily but they run deep. I don't fall in love often but when I do, I'm usually pretty well fixated on that other girl. But I'm also very introspective, very independent, full of a lot of self-doubt, and I need a lot of space and time to myself, so I can't be with someone who is too needy or too dependent. I'm not the kind of person who smothers my significant other, and I can't handle anyone who would smother me, try to 'change' me, or who would try to control me. I doubt I'll ever be in another serious long-term relationship again, but should that unfold, I would really need to be with someone who is a foremost an equal, a friend & a partner. I'm likely to eventually lose interest in a casual relationship with someone who I can't really connect with on any deeper level. Doesn't mean I'm adverse to having a casual relationship that's just about having fun and/or sex, it's just that something like that wouldn't last for very long for me. In certain ways I'm usually very guarded emotionally, and it takes a while for me to connect with new people.
--- End quote ---
You should get a motorcycle and a leather jacket with this on the back
(click to show/hide)
It's 100 percent win.
metro.:
--- Quote from: AceHigh on March 17, 2012, 11:00:54 AM ---
--- Quote from: metro. on March 17, 2012, 04:46:00 AM ---Whoa, harpy is a girl?
Or did I just read that wrong.
--- End quote ---
She would answer tha question with "Harpy is not a girl, harpy is a harpy"
However some of us know that she is that Lithuanian brunette who tends to hide her face behind a beer mug when posting her pic on bakabt boxtorrents (it was that long ago).
--- End quote ---
Learn something new everyday.
Regardless, this is interesting to see what people think of relationships. And how they tend to differ from each other, which I guess makes sense considering that people typically have a hard time finding someone.
harpy:
--- Quote from: metro. on March 17, 2012, 05:26:31 PM ---
--- Quote from: AceHigh on March 17, 2012, 11:00:54 AM ---
--- Quote from: metro. on March 17, 2012, 04:46:00 AM ---Whoa, harpy is a girl?
Or did I just read that wrong.
--- End quote ---
She would answer tha question with "Harpy is not a girl, harpy is a harpy"
However some of us know that she is that Lithuanian brunette who tends to hide her face behind a beer mug when posting her pic on bakabt boxtorrents (it was that long ago).
--- End quote ---
Learn something new everyday.
--- End quote ---
Ace is right about Harpy being a harpy it just happens to be so that harpys do not come in any other gender then female :)
But some other seem to be sure that this harpy comes from Latvia and not Lithuania...includi ng her parents who claim to have given birth to her...
--- Quote from: Ixarku on March 17, 2012, 09:52:48 AM ---
--- Quote from: harpy on March 16, 2012, 09:50:06 PM ---I wonder - what do you people think - what relationships should be about? (beside fun ad free stuff if you are a female)
--- End quote ---
There's no single, absolute answer to this. Different people want different things, and that's entirely okay. Some people want love & companionship; others just want sex and to have a good time; still more might be looking for someone to take care of them, or for someone they can control. The important part is honesty & communication. Establish expectations early, make sure the other person understands your feelings and is on board, but be ready to change your mind and react to the situation as it develops. It's fine to be indecisive as long as you don't lead the other person on or otherwise deceive them. It kills me how many times I see drama unfold simply because someone in a relationship is unwilling to or is incapable of expressing their feelings.
--- End quote ---
I have never really understood all this being true to emotions stuff, because most of the time it gets relationships ruined. Yeah, these mostly are relationships in the beginning stage of them, but these relationships quite often show quite a promising future, but one or another said something too serious or not too serious and people who loved each other just split up.
I do agree that one should speak up about problems and give some hints about what are their intentions, but not actually say them out loud. And I do agree that if one is asked one should be true or at least not lie.
Well to be completely honest I never really understood all that talking about the relationships unless there was a problem. I always run away when someone tries to talk to me about relationships I am in....
--- Quote from: Ixarku on March 17, 2012, 09:52:48 AM ---Me personally, my passions don't stir easily but they run deep. I don't fall in love often but when I do, I'm usually pretty well fixated on that other girl. But I'm also very introspective, very independent, full of a lot of self-doubt, and I need a lot of space and time to myself, so I can't be with someone who is too needy or too dependent. I'm not the kind of person who smothers my significant other, and I can't handle anyone who would smother me, try to 'change' me, or who would try to control me. I doubt I'll ever be in another serious long-term relationship again, but should that unfold, I would really need to be with someone who is a foremost an equal, a friend & a partner. I'm likely to eventually lose interest in a casual relationship with someone who I can't really connect with on any deeper level. Doesn't mean I'm adverse to having a casual relationship that's just about having fun and/or sex, it's just that something like that wouldn't last for very long for me. In certain ways I'm usually very guarded emotionally, and it takes a while for me to connect with new people.
--- End quote ---
You sound similar to me :)
I have (also?) given up on actually forming a relationships because I do respect myself to much to compromise myself and my well being with someone else...well yeah I am to egoistic to bother thinking about someones well being over mine.
Even I know that good relationships are all about compromise and changing your own way of living and being and even thinking. Even if you meet an equal you have to sacrifice some part of what you are to other person just to be able to be together and have a relationship. Yes, one should not go inside relationships thinking - ok I can change that and that in other person, but usually that's how it turns out in the long run or relationships fail.
And also ignorance is great in relationships. Especially if the relationship is going well. Know a bunch of stuff about some really happy relationships that would ruin them. Like cheating and loving others for a second and doubts and so on crap people in long term relationships go trough. One should not know all about the other person and they sure as hell should not know about the little messes other might commit if it is a one time thing.
--- Quote from: SilverDash on March 17, 2012, 05:17:50 PM ---
--- Quote from: harpy on March 16, 2012, 09:50:06 PM ---that I have no actual right to talk about relationships.
--- End quote ---
Sure you do. Everyone does. Because it's personal for everyone. Even if you never had one you still have that right because you might still be looking for a relationship for x reasons. Those x reasons give you the right to talk about it imo.
--- Quote from: harpy on March 16, 2012, 09:50:06 PM ---I wonder - what do you people think - what relationships should be about? (beside fun ad free stuff if you are a female)
--- End quote ---
Same thing, there is no "should" imo. Relationships have a million different reasons or so. jealousy, sex, domination, unwanted child, power, (other) political reasons, arranged marriages, protection, adventure/danger, making your parents mad, etc, etc,etc,etc.
--- End quote ---
well I did ask - what you think what it should be about :)
For me it was all about having fun and getting free stuff, now I find that even that is to bothersome, because I have to talk and be nice to people to accomplish that. I am not in the mood to do that. And I sure as hell am not ready to agree with some stupid opinions most people put out there >_>
Where are all the nice misanthropic people gone? :'(
SilverDash:
Well in that case, just fun & sex I guess. Yeah definitely lots of sex. I'm not really sure but I think that should cover about 90% of it for me ;D. Satan is so gonna punish me after I die :P. Maybe I should apply to the Modern Church of Satan. I wonder what Satan's favorite fetish is. Whipping and hot wax probably.
Misanthropic people... I think I might be one.
AceHigh:
--- Quote from: harpy on March 17, 2012, 09:10:07 PM ---But some other seem to be sure that this harpy comes from Latvia and not Lithuania...includi ng her parents who claim to have given birth to her...
--- End quote ---
Bah. I always mix up those two countries for some reason.
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