Discussion Forums > The Lounge
Are You Alone?
Nikkoru:
Personally, I think the important factor in a relationship is whether both people feel self-esteem at the end of the day. If you're unhappy with yourself going into a relationship, chances are it's not going to go well, and you'll come off feeling even worse.Then there are couples where one feels the need to strip the other of self-esteem in order to validate themselves, they're even worse. Taking people who are happy and making them feel like shit. When you care about how your partner feels, and he/she you, you can accommodate each other.
Love is a drug with some awful withdrawal symptoms.
EmptyMemory:
--- Quote from: Ixarku on March 18, 2012, 11:55:45 AM ---
--- Quote from: EmptyMemory on March 18, 2012, 01:41:27 AM ---
--- Quote from: Ixarku on March 18, 2012, 01:21:15 AM ---But adapting to another person doesn't mean that you should change who you are at a fundamental level, either.
--- End quote ---
I think it's less about "should I have to" and more about "what am I comfortable with." I mean, obviously, if you're comfortable with changing your entire personality for said person, then they're something wrong with you, but I think we can define that as a different problem entirely.
--- End quote ---
It's probably as much a matter of the amount of & nature of any change as it is what you're comfortable doing. Changing religions to adapt to your partner's beliefs could be a huge deal for some people but not for others. A person who's fairly independent is probably not going to give up their independence just to satisfy some control freak's needs. But someone who's too dependent on other people could learn a measure of self-determination from their partner and would probably benefit from it. A hot-tempered person might clash too much with their significant other, and most likely should learn some self-control, but may or may not be capable of that kind of change.
In a relationship, it boils down to finding someone who's personality meshes well with your own in a positive way. The ideal situation is to learn from each other and adopt any traits or habits that make each of you a better person. The degree to which this can or should happen is, of course, highly variable from couple to couple.
--- End quote ---
Yeah, I think I can agree to that.
Nodame-chan:
Those who dont understand the beauty of loneliness, will never be able to feel the freedom :D
JoonasTo:
Single and because of the freedom not looking to hookup in the near future either.
metro.:
--- Quote from: nodame-chan on March 18, 2012, 07:25:56 PM ---Those who dont understand the beauty of loneliness, will never be able to feel the freedom :D
--- End quote ---
Nice line.
Although, some people try to get think that relationships are the only way to go to be happy at any point.
I have a friend like that, I want to choke her sometimes.
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