*scratches head* Trying to figure this out here...
* ph4zr casts WALL (Protective Barrier), critting for 8999 damage (?!)
So, basically: You do understand why she might feel the way she does, and are okay with that. You can understand why she might act the way she does, but are not okay with that. You consider the situation Kirino's fault, not Kyousuke's—significantly, you do consider it to be someone's fault in the first place. And you also agree that Thunder is generally just a crappy move with horrible accuracy.
From my perspective: I do understand why she might feel the way she does, and am okay with that. I can understand why she might act the way she does, and, while I don't agree with her behavior or consider it ideal, I consider it within the realm of expectation. I don't consider the situation Kirino's fault, or Kyousuke's—significantly, I do not consider it to be anyone's fault in the first place. And I also agree that Thunder is generally just a crappy move with horrible accuracy.
If that's roughly the sum of it, I think I have an idea of what you're getting at, but I still think Kirino's behavior is in line with the "rebellious teenager phase" where an "everyone is supposed to understand me/no one can understand me but they should anyway" attitude isn't all that uncommon. I certainly think it would have been better if they had hashed it out and she had simply said "Look, I'm pissed at you. You've changed, and I don't like this change. So like WTF man?" But she didn't. OTOH, Kyousuke also didn't go "Look, you're pissed at me. I
get that. What I don't get is why. Could you just tell me? And then can't we go back to being normal brother and sister, maybe minus all the clinginess?" But he didn't. He basically just ignored the problem, if he even realized there was one in the first place, and then he's surprised when she's bitchy when he acts like nothing has happened and tries to be a brother again.
Actually, hell, in e13, she
did call him out on it (e13, ~10m). He brushed her off. Now, I don't think Kirino necessarily had a *right* to an answer, but I think that, all things considered—their relationship, her obvious admiration for him, the seemingly inexplicable about-face of his personality—she *deserved* one. I also think that, had she gotten one, things would have been very, very different between them during those few years. Since he didn't give her one, I think it's rather odd that he's surprised when she acts the way she does toward him.
But, like I said, I don't think
anyone was really at fault. I think it's just a horrible case of terrible communication. He changed, for an actually rather good reason, but he was too dense (he is apparently
insanely dense) to realize that it caused a rift between him and his sister. She didn't like the change, and, despite the fact that she was, at the time, literally a mere elementary schooler, no one thought to maybe sit down with her and talk about it so she could understand. Can anyone seriously expect a typical elementary schooler to get something like that so easily? No one ever explained to her that the reason her "aniki who always tried his best" went away was because it just wasn't working, because it was actually causing problems. As far as Kirino was concerned, it was just Manami being meddlesome and changing her beloved "aniki" into some bum with no drive.
Manami's comments, true or not, certainly didn't help the situation, either. Rather than being all trollish and saying "the aniki you admired never existed to begin with, I'm not giving him back to you (hahahahahaha) /personal interpretation", she might have pointed out why. ... /insert manami-trollface.jpg/ But, I don't think she really thought it through that far. Especially not considering how slow she usually seems to begin with.
From my interpretation of your perspective, the relationship should have just stayed in that state, neither party interacting with the other, but also neither party acting hostilely toward the other. Kirino could remain pissed. Kyousuke could remain apathetic toward and uninterested in his sister. After all, she wants nothing to do with his current self, and he doesn't want to bother trying to deal with her when she's like that.
Plenty of relationships, especially sibling relationships, go that way. People just stop talking to each other, forever. For normal relationships, maybe, that's fine. A bit regretful in some cases, but there are many, many potential relationships out there—sometimes the work just isn't worth it without any history to hold it together. For a sibling relationship... well, I can't really "pass judgment" one way or another. Every family has their own circumstances. In this particular case, though, I think that outcome would be terribly sad, especially considering how well they used to get along.
From my perspective, since it was too late to go back and just cancel the whole misunderstanding, Kyousuke maybe should have realized that "yeah, I've basically dropped out of her life for the last three years, maybe I shouldn't just suddenly act all chummy and realize that there's some kind of unresolved tension," as opposed to "why you bitch! I'm trying to help you, and this is how you treat me?"
From my perspective, when a relationship has reached that point, you can't just jump back into someone's life and expect them to be all "onii-chan, daiiiiiiiiisuki! Where TF have you been these past few years? I missed you!" If you ignore them for that long, and treat them like a stranger for that long, yeah they're probably going to be skeptical and defensive. For some people, being "defensive" means putting up a hostile front—hurt them before they hurt you, let them know that you do bite, and you will sure as fuck bite back if they mess with you. Maybe even put one right between their eyes if they try to buck with you. .../lamepun
I don't know. I don't really agree with all the "touchy feely" "I feel, you feel, how does everyone feel" stuff. But I do think that bothering to try to understand where the other party is coming from, rather than assigning blame and saying things like "it's your fault ...[etc.]...", will get a relationship a lot further and do a lot more toward maintaining the relationship in the long run.
Plus, if Kyousuke had just given her what for from the very beginning, either the problems would have resolved immediately, or they really never would have spoken to each other again—then there would be no story at all!
Unfortunately, I can neither really agree or disagree with your last set of statements. From my perspective, all human behavior is motivated by self-interest in some form or other, meaning that claiming any behavior to be "selfish" is essentially claiming a truism and thus not of any real value as an assertion. That isn't to say I don't understand what your statements are asserting—at least, that assumption is one I am willing to make.
Even setting aside my more all-encompassing interpretation of "selfishness", I think it's possible to care -and- be selfish. On the one hand, you want the individual to be happy/have a better life, on the other, you also want to be a part of it. It wouldn't reach the realm of "selfishness" by the more casual definition in my view unless "being in their life" also significantly diminished "their ability to be happy".
Sometimes, that means taking a bit of a beating to get the other party to understand that "you mean no harm", until they're willing to listen to what you actually have to say. Hell, it's a bit like that scene at the end of Nausicaä of the Valley of the Wind. But, in the end, I think Kyousuke got that much, and Kirino also came to terms with the change.
Possibly relevant to keep in mind: Even in KimiNozo, I never really thought "anyone was at fault" from the main cast, despite ALL of the shit going on there, even if some of it would've still angered me IRL. So it's also possible I'm inclined toward viewing such a thing as just a plain train wreck of a situation, or a freak accident of sorts.
Ah—despite the wall, I'm not particularly "worked up". Just a bit puzzled and trying to clarify, is all.
But, people actually assumed Kyousuke might have been a douchebag at the start? I wasn't aware of this view. I thought everyone just considered Kirino a bitch. True, he's pretty far from perfect in a lot of ways, but so are most non-insert characters.
Anyway, when the OVAs come out, this will all be "so episode 13 already". Not much point in casting blame if the characters themselves don't even care at that point. Of course, people might start throwing tomatoes at the creator, but meh. XD