A Whole New Light

[metro.]

So last night around 1 AM I started having a conversation with a friend as I came to realization that I look at girls in a different light knowing that they have/haven't had sex. Me, being a teenage male with hormones raging, look at a girl, and after knowing she's had sex, automatically consider what she would look/feel/sound like. Piggish, I know, but it's not a conscious choice.

I have asked some people I know, varying in virgin status and gender, and gotten mixed results, one thing that has come clear through is that most guys (should be noted I'm talking around late teens-early twenties) share my sentiment for the most part. Girls on the other hand, don't always, and especially not if they're virgins, they don't see girls or guys in a different way. It should be noted I'm not talking about judging morality here, just if you start seeing them as a sexual entity.

So if you would please let me know your thoughts, this would be great, I really am curious. If you want to, it'd be great if you go put your age/gender/virgin status, but I understand if you don't want to. Much obliged.

(click to show/hide)

So I was up until like 5AM talking about this with several people about this, and I've come to this conclusion. I think that for guys, because we are the ones actually...being inside them, we have this feeling dominance, mainly because we are emotional children. For me, this isn't just the actual physical feeling but it's linked with sounds, facial expressions, etc, and thus each person is significantly different, and due to a curious nature I always wonder.

Like I sad, quite lewd, judge away. These are just my thoughts on the matter, put forth in a terribly roundabout and confusing manner.

[EmptyMemory]

I look at girls in a different light based on virginity.
I don't consider what she would look/feel/sound like.

I'm somewhat chaste in general. I've never been comfortable with the notion of getting close to a girl purely for sexual motives. Don't be mistaken though, this uncomfortably has nothing to do with what I deem moral or not. I'm, for some reason, more inclined to meet a girl for the purposes of making a friend. If sex comes with that, then I'd be down, but it's still second to the friendship.

I'm 19. I'm a male. I'm a virgin.

(click to show/hide)

I'm pretty confident that my viewpoint will be stay consistent even after losing my v-card, but you can never be 100% sure about these things.

[Nikkoru]

You're asking whether we view people who've had sex differently from those who haven't? Well, generally there remains the historical discourse where men are encouraged to prove their virility in a rite of passage while women have been all but locked into high towers until marriage day. Women's lib has changed that, but slut and stud still have seriously different contexts, and the double standard is more notable with more traditional societies.

Personally, it's never been an issue for me.  Apparently awkward teenage sexuality passed me by - I think it has something to do with having numerous lasting friendships with girls and women since grade school. It ruins the mystique.

[metro.]

No, I'm not asking about the people you've had sex with, that's a given.

I'm asking, do you view people who HAVE had sex differently, particularly of the opposite gender.
And I from your last part, I think that I'm being misunderstood here, which is on me. My description makes no sense I know.

I look at girls in a different light based on virginity.
I don't consider what she would look/feel/sound like.
I'm 19. I'm a male. I'm a virgin.

(click to show/hide)

I'm pretty confident that my viewpoint will be stay consistent even after losing my v-card, but you can never be 100% sure about these things.

Yeah, it'll probably change, simply biologically I mean. The virginity thing is interesting, I haven't talked to any guys about this that are virgins.

I'm beginning to think that perhaps that's the thing that sets apart people, not gender.
And yes, imagining what it would look/feel/sound like is like talking about the plot of a book you've never read, you can hear about it all you want but until you've read it, you really don't know it.

[Ixarku]

Me, being a teenage male with hormones raging,

That right there is the key.  What you're describing is one of those perceptions that I expect will change as you age, unless you remain sexually supercharged.  Eventually, too, you're going to find yourself in a work environment surrounded by older people all of whom are or have been sexually active, and you'll probably start seeing them in a different light.

[AceHigh]

Ever seen a female with her hormones raging? Ugh... they can be as bad as guys in that regard and with the whole cultural gender equality there is nothing in my country stopping them from expressing it. If I wanted to have a normal conversation with a girl back in my teen days and she was one horny fuck, it really made her uninteresting. Thus I usually got along with the girls who acted like guys... eh... like normal human beings.

Also since I see sex as a good past time and nothing more "mysterious" than that, I don't consider virginity to be anything special at all. Hell, I would remove the word from the dictionary if I could, for some reason people make a deal out of it.

Edit: for the record I am 25, not a virgin, had a relationship, had several partners.

[rostheferret]

23/m/no

When I lost mine, no. I was thankful to find someone I cared about and knew I could explore that side of myself with; that I could clumsily fool around with and who would clumsily fool around back, both of us not having the foggiest idea on what to do other than knowing I wanted to put my penis somewhere. As I got a little older and entered my late teens, it coloured my opinion of them if they had a lot of sexual partners (much less so now), but wanting to wait was something I respected. Now I'm back to looking at you funny if I discover you're still a virgin. If you're my age and are still waiting for the "special person," there's something wrong with you. I'm not saying be a slut, but if you haven't been in a serious relationship by now, well either you have impossible standards or need to get out more. Virginity is progressively less of a good thing post-18; it's never magical, it's always shit because you don't know what you're doing and I don't particularly want to go through the virgin-stage once again; have to essentially teach someone else how to not be lousy in bed, I've been there and done that. I've paid my dues.

Do I ever imagine what other people would be like in bed - because I'm assuming at my age you ain't so innocent unless corrected - ? Yes, if I find them physically attractive (or a cruel friend implants images in my head). It's called male fantasy and I'm pretty sure the porn industry wouldn't be so prevalent if most of us didn't do it. Fantasize away, just don't let yourself get too caught up in public and don't let it become the dominant thought (this will get easier with time). She might be the most fun and fascinating person and you'll miss out (I don't think of friends in this way at all; people call it the 'friend zone' for a reason, because anything sexual with a friend instantly becomes weird). And if you don't know her that well, who knows, she might be flirting with you and you're too busy wondering what she looks like without her top on to notice.

I think the trick here is to get to know more women, and not in a sexual context. The gender divide in youth dissipates with age; friends are friends, what the hell does it matter whether they have a penis?

Also since I see sex as a good past time and nothing more "mysterious" than that.

This.

[elvikun]

Let me start with *facepalm* ok... no, actually, wait... *faceplam* Oh. Good now. To the topic calmly.

First off the "I had sex. It was wonderfull" and "I'm not a virgin anymore" is about as reliable as Fox news talking about geography, especially when "teens" say it. At some point it became terribly cool/uncool to be and to not be virgin, lies rushed in fast, because noone wants to be uncool, right?

Secondly, if someone is sexy, I don't see how believing they had sex makes them nicer or on the other hand, not having sex makes them unattractive. If someone is hot, they are hot. Period. Isn't it more like "They're having sex and damn, not with me" if anything? I think everyone imagines at least a little bit, but I didn't figure it connects to virginity.

And for the third... Loosing virginity does change you? How? Egobooster perhaps. But why? At the time you lost virginity, you more than likely sucked like hell if you're male and if you're female, you're left with pretty mixed feelings and thankfully for the male counterpart, with nothing to compare it to.
You can't even say it makes you 20% cooler, because it doesn't.  Even tho, if you go with the wave or stress yourself over virginity, I guess it can make you feel a lot better and relieved.

I mean, for crying out loud, this isn't 14th century, virginity is irrelevant and sex is part of life just as much as using car.

This myth about life before and after virginity, the great cataclysmic change that comes with it made many young people into pathethic beings. I used to know one such... affected guy. Forcefully trying to prove to everyone that he "fucked X hard, YEEEAAAW" because he obviously couldn't feel male enough if anyone though he is a virgin (Enjoyble thing is that even now, 6 years later I still think the closest he ever got to girl was being in the same room as one). On the other hand, you have those girls going "I'm 15 and I'm STILL a virgin, I much be so ugly, cry, cry, cry, depression, depression".
Will people in general ever get wiser? Doubt it.

Right. 23 / f / no.
Just a reminder. I'm not angry. I'm  always talking like that beofre someone slaps me with "chill" hehe.

[kadatherion]

if you're female, you're left with pretty mixed feelings and thankfully for the male counterpart, with nothing to compare it to.

And this is why as a male it is wise to kill and bury in your garden the partners you had for your first experiences. Don't let them have a chance for comparisons until you at least learn to aim. Learning to... urrr... be zen helps too. Don't give them the chance to tittle-tattle with their friends, or the whole crop could wither away!
My first sexual partner is a living testimony of my clumsiness back then. And I can't exactly... err... give her an update. Well, theoretically I could, but she really didn't age that well... (as in, the body aged too much, the mind didn't age, like, at all... thanks Eternal Love for existing only in cartoons and dumbass movies, thanks!)

Anyway, yup, I do look at women differently whether they say they are virgins or not. Usually, if they say they are, I call the whitecoats from the nearest nuthouse or the clowns from the nearest circus, depending if they are virgins because an invisible friend from the heavens told them to stay so or because they have three eyes, one breast and two beards.

When I was in my early teens, in the middle of the hormones storm, I'd probably have hit even a hole in the wall (might be the reason I loved Pink Floyd?), so no, I guess I wasn't really discriminating in my fantasies. If anything, I was already suffering from the typically male opposite fetish: if they are virgins they're hotter because I don't have to be compared to anyone, so even if I suck I'll get away with it they are pure and pristine like princesses and so will be our love. Then again, I lost my virginity (lost... not that I would like to have it back... and I'm in that half of the human species that doesn't even bleed) at around 15 (I don't even remember exactly how old I was... so much for the life turning value) so who knows how it would have been if I kept going at it for a while... I could have become famous as the man with the strongest right arm and skinnier left arm in the world, for instance.
Now that I'm older I guess the fetishist appeal is that I am a man, they are objects I own and I don't like second-hand products a younger, inexperienced girl looks sweet and sparks a bit of pedobear fatherly instincts. Yeah, right, you know, whatever doesn't get you found guilty in court, I guess...

What really is interesting is if and when you look at a woman differently whether she already had sex with you or not. Especially when she remembers it and you don't. But that's another story...

Oh, right. 29 (since last year, and it will remain 29 FOOORRRRREVER!)/male (but I find it funny to dress as a woman, and I pull it off rather nicely. Does it count?)/I'm still innocent at heart. My lawyers ensure so.

[metro.]

I feel like I described this topic very poorly, and have come across is a light that I didn't mean to.

Nevertheless, it is interesting, so carry on.

[elvikun]

I feel like I described this topic very poorly, and have come across is a light that I didn't mean to.

Nevertheless, it is interesting, so carry on.

I'd like some input from the Master Pervert. It may not seem so, but I actually asked you a few questions there, hehe.

(click to show/hide)

if you're female, you're left with pretty mixed feelings and thankfully for the male counterpart, with nothing to compare it to.

And this is why as a male it is wise to kill and bury in your garden the partners you had for your first experiences. Don't let them have a chance for comparisons until you at least learn to aim. Learning to... urrr... be zen helps too. Don't give them the chance to tittle-tattle with their friends, or the whole crop could wither away!
My first sexual partner is a living testimony of my clumsiness back then. And I can't exactly... err... give her an update. Well, theoretically I could, but she really didn't age that well... (as in, the body aged too much, the mind didn't age, like, at all... thanks Eternal Love for existing only in cartoons and dumbass movies, thanks!)

Anyway, yup, I do look at women differently whether they say they are virgins or not. Usually, if they say they are, I call the whitecoats from the nearest nuthouse or the clowns from the nearest circus, depending if they are virgins because an invisible friend from the heavens told them to stay so or because they have three eyes, one breast and two beards.

When I was in my early teens, in the middle of the hormones storm, I'd probably have hit even a hole in the wall (might be the reason I loved Pink Floyd?), so no, I guess I wasn't really discriminating in my fantasies. If anything, I was already suffering from the typically male opposite fetish: if they are virgins they're hotter because I don't have to be compared to anyone, so even if I suck I'll get away with it they are pure and pristine like princesses and so will be our love. Then again, I lost my virginity (lost... not that I would like to have it back... and I'm in that half of the human species that doesn't even bleed) at around 15 (I don't even remember exactly how old I was... so much for the life turning value) so who knows how it would have been if I kept going at it for a while... I could have become famous as the man with the strongest right arm and skinnier left arm in the world, for instance.
Now that I'm older I guess the fetishist appeal is that I am a man, they are objects I own and I don't like second-hand products a younger, inexperienced girl looks sweet and sparks a bit of pedobear fatherly instincts. Yeah, right, you know, whatever doesn't get you found guilty in court, I guess...

What really is interesting is if and when you look at a woman differently whether she already had sex with you or not. Especially when she remembers it and you don't. But that's another story...

Oh, right. 29 (since last year, and it will remain 29 FOOORRRRREVER!)/male (but I find it funny to dress as a woman, and I pull it off rather nicely. Does it count?)/I'm still innocent at heart. My lawyers ensure so.

Well, I think it's better to leave extremely ugly and strongly religious (Hey, that's funny, those two quite often go hand in hand!) people out of the thread. Those are whole different topic.

Also, I'd say it's natural to look diferently on someone you actualy had sex with. But I'm still a bit dazzled by what the difference is when someone says (I stress that word) they had sex with someone who isn't you. Does it make anyone go from "Pure inexperienced princess" to "old dirty hag" overnight? And there's more, you can tell?
...But that part about fatherly insticts and...all, reminded me of

(click to show/hide)

... if you know who that is 

[EmptyMemory]

I'd like some input from the Master Pervert.

Do you mind Elvi? Everyone's looking at me funny now. Apparently, it's inappropriate for me to laugh out loud in the middle of a lecture.

[metro.]

Let me start with *facepalm* ok... no, actually, wait... *faceplam* Oh. Good now. To the topic calmly.

First off the "I had sex. It was wonderfull" and "I'm not a virgin anymore" is about as reliable as Fox news talking about geography, especially when "teens" say it. At some point it became terribly cool/uncool to be and to not be virgin, lies rushed in fast, because noone wants to be uncool, right?

Secondly, if someone is sexy, I don't see how believing they had sex makes them nicer or on the other hand, not having sex makes them unattractive. If someone is hot, they are hot. Period. Isn't it more like "They're having sex and damn, not with me" if anything? I think everyone imagines at least a little bit, but I didn't figure it connects to virginity.

And for the third... Loosing virginity does change you? How? Egobooster perhaps. But why? At the time you lost virginity, you more than likely sucked like hell if you're male and if you're female, you're left with pretty mixed feelings and thankfully for the male counterpart, with nothing to compare it to.
You can't even say it makes you 20% cooler, because it doesn't.  Even tho, if you go with the wave or stress yourself over virginity, I guess it can make you feel a lot better and relieved.

I mean, for crying out loud, this isn't 14th century, virginity is irrelevant and sex is part of life just as much as using car.

This myth about life before and after virginity, the great cataclysmic change that comes with it made many young people into pathethic beings. I used to know one such... affected guy. Forcefully trying to prove to everyone that he "fucked X hard, YEEEAAAW" because he obviously couldn't feel male enough if anyone though he is a virgin (Enjoyble thing is that even now, 6 years later I still think the closest he ever got to girl was being in the same room as one). On the other hand, you have those girls going "I'm 15 and I'm STILL a virgin, I much be so ugly, cry, cry, cry, depression, depression".
Will people in general ever get wiser? Doubt it.

Right. 23 / f / no.
Just a reminder. I'm not angry. I'm  always talking like that beofre someone slaps me with "chill" hehe.

First off, chill

Lots of what you said I kind of expected from someone. This is not a "omguys I had sex look at my e-peen it's throbbing!", I'm actually just curious about this. In hindsight, considering the population this was probably the worse place to ask. Not about lack of sex but just how people tend to view it.

Anyways, losing virginity wasn't about the "cool" thing, it was most about the psychological changes that occurred, at least for me and to some of the other people I talked to. This is going to come across dickish, but I lost mine earlier then most, so I feel like I missed the middle part. I at the "oh man I wanna have sex but I'm a virgin" stage for about a month, so my knowledge of this angst people go through with dealing with virginity or whatever is lost on me.

Like I said, I probably sound like I'm trying to brag or whatever. I'm not. For a few people I've talked to, and I kind of agree, looking at someone differently knowing they've had sex, is more about relating to them in some way. Maybe you're just emotionally jaded/mature Elvi, but for every girl I've talked to, losing their virginity was an emotional experience. So perhaps this is simply a case of me not having enough knowledge of the female, well, human psyche.

I don't think I actually achieved anything with that, but I wrote it out so I might as well just go with it.

[Goldfrapp]

The view on virgins totally depends on age.

If I meet someone my age who is still a virgin, and there is no obvious reason that I can spot with my own eye why they still are virgins (Now, Im not gonna list any "obvious reasons here, I might offend anyone, but lets say: if they are dressed like a nun its quite obvious, right?) I would probably think something is wrong mentally/physically, OR that they are saving themselves to marriage, but still, if they are saving themselves to marriage at my age, they better hurry up marry:P

For teenagers: if your a virgin, your a prude, and if you have sex, you are a slut. There is no middleway for girls, best is just to not care what other thinks.

Luckily.
Everything changes when you get older and more confident with yourself and ..ah, how you do it. Youll look different on it in a few years.
 Experience is  the key to success, and if you do it alot with one person, or with many, it doesnt really matter, as long as you enjoy it.



?/f/no

[EmptyMemory]

it doesnt really matter, as long as you enjoy it.

+1

[elvikun]

(click to show/hide)

Let me start with *facepalm* ok... no, actually, wait... *faceplam* Oh. Good now. To the topic calmly.

First off the "I had sex. It was wonderfull" and "I'm not a virgin anymore" is about as reliable as Fox news talking about geography, especially when "teens" say it. At some point it became terribly cool/uncool to be and to not be virgin, lies rushed in fast, because noone wants to be uncool, right?

Secondly, if someone is sexy, I don't see how believing they had sex makes them nicer or on the other hand, not having sex makes them unattractive. If someone is hot, they are hot. Period. Isn't it more like "They're having sex and damn, not with me" if anything? I think everyone imagines at least a little bit, but I didn't figure it connects to virginity.

And for the third... Loosing virginity does change you? How? Egobooster perhaps. But why? At the time you lost virginity, you more than likely sucked like hell if you're male and if you're female, you're left with pretty mixed feelings and thankfully for the male counterpart, with nothing to compare it to.
You can't even say it makes you 20% cooler, because it doesn't.  Even tho, if you go with the wave or stress yourself over virginity, I guess it can make you feel a lot better and relieved.

I mean, for crying out loud, this isn't 14th century, virginity is irrelevant and sex is part of life just as much as using car.

This myth about life before and after virginity, the great cataclysmic change that comes with it made many young people into pathethic beings. I used to know one such... affected guy. Forcefully trying to prove to everyone that he "fucked X hard, YEEEAAAW" because he obviously couldn't feel male enough if anyone though he is a virgin (Enjoyble thing is that even now, 6 years later I still think the closest he ever got to girl was being in the same room as one). On the other hand, you have those girls going "I'm 15 and I'm STILL a virgin, I much be so ugly, cry, cry, cry, depression, depression".
Will people in general ever get wiser? Doubt it.

Right. 23 / f / no.
Just a reminder. I'm not angry. I'm  always talking like that beofre someone slaps me with "chill" hehe.

First off, chill

Lots of what you said I kind of expected from someone. This is not a "omguys I had sex look at my e-peen it's throbbing!", I'm actually just curious about this. In hindsight, considering the population this was probably the worse place to ask. Not about lack of sex but just how people tend to view it.

Anyways, losing virginity wasn't about the "cool" thing, it was most about the psychological changes that occurred, at least for me and to some of the other people I talked to. This is going to come across dickish, but I lost mine earlier then most, so I feel like I missed the middle part. I at the "oh man I wanna have sex but I'm a virgin" stage for about a month, so my knowledge of this angst people go through with dealing with virginity or whatever is lost on me.

Like I said, I probably sound like I'm trying to brag or whatever. I'm not. For a few people I've talked to, and I kind of agree, looking at someone differently knowing they've had sex, is more about relating to them in some way. Maybe you're just emotionally jaded/mature Elvi, but for every girl I've talked to, losing their virginity was an emotional experience. So perhaps this is simply a case of me not having enough knowledge of the female, well, human psyche.

I don't think I actually achieved anything with that, but I wrote it out so I might as well just go with it.

Oh, for the record, I didn't mean you are flashing your enormous pencil on the internet, you should already know me good enough to know I actully enjoy people posting weird, revolting and unusual topics. What I meant is that when you asked people about your age or younger about virginity, there is a good chance they said "Sure, I have sex, like, all the time, you know." but it's not truth, just trying to look "cool"(And frankly, that goes tripple for males). How do you tell who is telling the truth?

And for the second paragraph, what I meant... You can't really experience huge changes unless you are extremely nervous, anxious or otherwise hyped about having the first sex, because no real changes occur. And let's face it, teenagers (And I mean 15-17 cast) seem to be more hyped about this every year.
Little bit ironic, considering what I'm saying, is that I actually "lost virginity" a little while after 15th birthday, but the thing is - It wasn't because of necessity, anxiety or need to be cool, it simply happened, magic of the moment and I don't think I actually ever said whether I'm a virgin or not to anyone face to face, no matter the reason and certainly not because of "coolness". It just seems that many people simply do it because they "have to".

And excuse me... While I'm not exactly girly *glitter* girl (and I'm glad for that) ...l I'm emotianally jaded? Well fuck you, sir. 
Sure, it's emotional experience, but isn't it for the man-kind as well? Well. Minus the obvious thing of physical nature, erm.
Isn't first kiss emotional? Holding hands for the first time? It's the thrill of something totaly new combined with the thrill of "love".
...
On the other hand, I think loosing my bike keys was slightly more emotional. Also lasted longer.




@Goldfrapp
I have to disagree about the "obvious" signs. Someone has style, someone doesn't. Someone is shy, someone isn't. Someone is ugly, someone isn't. Someone looks like rotten nerd, someone like absolute metrosexual. Unless you have serious psychological problems, this won't change suddenly because of virginity in-or-out. So to speak.

[harpy]

Mmmmmmmm, let me think.
If I get to know that someone is virgin after reaching age of 20 I do thing differently of them (if they are no religious), make a small smile and ask - why? Sometimes reason are quite normal and my thought go right beck as they were before.

If its before...well I do not really talk to people that age irl that much so I have no idea. Well if you are not super cute female under my sight line I do not notice you and I could not care less if you are or are not virgin. And if you are a teen I do not really take you seriously most of the time, that is unless you have something interesting to say, but people before 20 usually don't. There are some exceptions, but for some reasons there are none irl, just in forums and so on internet things. I guess because in forums they do not think about where to stick their penis while posting...well not that much as irl. And I just do not get along with most females, I simply do not get them most of the time...or understand....   

Its not like something changes after I get to know their state of sexual experience. If I liked them before I do like them afterwards just I would not consider then to be my sexual partners. I am to selfish to get around someones elses virginity. I dealt with mine, I feel like I have done my quota.

[Goldfrapp]

@Goldfrapp
I have to disagree about the "obvious" signs. Someone has style, someone doesn't. Someone is shy, someone isn't. Someone is ugly, someone isn't. Someone looks like rotten nerd, someone like absolute metrosexual. Unless you have serious psychological problems, this won't change suddenly because of virginity in-or-out. So to speak.

Yeah, you got a point. Still, age is significant here. Im not that old, but got a few years on you. With some people it wouldn't be so hard to find out why they still are virgins when they are closing in on, or passing 30. And yes, I belive if you havent had sex when your closing in, or passing 30, it does something about your self image, and what people think of you if they find out.

[rostheferret]

What I meant is that when you asked people about your age or younger about virginity, there is a good chance they said "Sure, I have sex, like, all the time, you know." but it's not truth, just trying to look "cool"(And frankly, that goes tripple for males). How do you tell who is telling the truth?

There's an old joke; you ask a man how many women he's slept with, divide by three to find the real answer. Ask a woman how many men she's slept with, double it to find the real answer.

The most interesting point I've seen raised is whether you view someone differently after sex (rather than specifically virginity). Avoiding the obvious 'well now I don't have to imagine what she looks like topless hurr hurr' type jokes (ok, I had to make one ) I usually don't think of them in a new light at all. I'll have decided already what I wanted from the situation, whether we were in a blossoming relationship or we were both drunk in a bar. I don't really become any more emotionally entangled; I don't really know them any better as a person do I? It's just a fun activity. The same, however, is most certainly not true for women. I don't know why, but the difference before and after is that afterwards even the most benign of comments, ordinarily ignored, become deep painful insults causing them to burst into tears leaving the guy scratching his head. The phase usually passes but the amount of time I've reduced partners to tears without a clue why is mind boggling.

[AceHigh]

@Goldfrapp
I have to disagree about the "obvious" signs. Someone has style, someone doesn't. Someone is shy, someone isn't. Someone is ugly, someone isn't. Someone looks like rotten nerd, someone like absolute metrosexual. Unless you have serious psychological problems, this won't change suddenly because of virginity in-or-out. So to speak.

Yeah, you got a point. Still, age is significant here. Im not that old, but got a few years on you. With some people it wouldn't be so hard to find out why they still are virgins when they are closing in on, or passing 30. And yes, I belive if you havent had sex when your closing in, or passing 30, it does something about your self image, and what people think of you if they find out.

Not to mention that Norwegians are culturally very blunt and informal, so the signs will be more obvious, than in other cultures. However there is a diversity in personalities in every country.