Discussion Forums > The Lounge
A Whole New Light
elvikun:
--- Quote from: metro. on April 10, 2012, 02:32:28 PM ---I feel like I described this topic very poorly, and have come across is a light that I didn't mean to.
Nevertheless, it is interesting, so carry on.
--- End quote ---
I'd like some input from the Master Pervert. It may not seem so, but I actually asked you a few questions there, hehe.
--- Quote from: kadatherion on April 10, 2012, 01:23:20 PM --- (click to show/hide)
--- Quote from: elvikun on April 10, 2012, 12:24:25 PM ---if you're female, you're left with pretty mixed feelings and thankfully for the male counterpart, with nothing to compare it to.
--- End quote ---
And this is why as a male it is wise to kill and bury in your garden the partners you had for your first experiences. Don't let them have a chance for comparisons until you at least learn to aim. Learning to... urrr... be zen helps too. Don't give them the chance to tittle-tattle with their friends, or the whole crop could wither away!
My first sexual partner is a living testimony of my clumsiness back then. And I can't exactly... err... give her an update. Well, theoretically I could, but she really didn't age that well... (as in, the body aged too much, the mind didn't age, like, at all... thanks Eternal Love for existing only in cartoons and dumbass movies, thanks!)
Anyway, yup, I do look at women differently whether they say they are virgins or not. Usually, if they say they are, I call the whitecoats from the nearest nuthouse or the clowns from the nearest circus, depending if they are virgins because an invisible friend from the heavens told them to stay so or because they have three eyes, one breast and two beards.
When I was in my early teens, in the middle of the hormones storm, I'd probably have hit even a hole in the wall (might be the reason I loved Pink Floyd?), so no, I guess I wasn't really discriminating in my fantasies. If anything, I was already suffering from the typically male opposite fetish: if they are virgins they're hotter because I don't have to be compared to anyone, so even if I suck I'll get away with it they are pure and pristine like princesses and so will be our love. Then again, I lost my virginity (lost... not that I would like to have it back... and I'm in that half of the human species that doesn't even bleed) at around 15 (I don't even remember exactly how old I was... so much for the life turning value) so who knows how it would have been if I kept going at it for a while... I could have become famous as the man with the strongest right arm and skinnier left arm in the world, for instance.
Now that I'm older I guess the fetishist appeal is that I am a man, they are objects I own and I don't like second-hand products a younger, inexperienced girl looks sweet and sparks a bit of pedobear fatherly instincts. Yeah, right, you know, whatever doesn't get you found guilty in court, I guess...
What really is interesting is if and when you look at a woman differently whether she already had sex with you or not. Especially when she remembers it and you don't. But that's another story...
Oh, right. 29 (since last year, and it will remain 29 FOOORRRRREVER!)/male (but I find it funny to dress as a woman, and I pull it off rather nicely. Does it count?)/I'm still innocent at heart. My lawyers ensure so.
--- End quote ---
Well, I think it's better to leave extremely ugly and strongly religious (Hey, that's funny, those two quite often go hand in hand!) people out of the thread. Those are whole different topic.
Also, I'd say it's natural to look diferently on someone you actualy had sex with. But I'm still a bit dazzled by what the difference is when someone says (I stress that word) they had sex with someone who isn't you. Does it make anyone go from "Pure inexperienced princess" to "old dirty hag" overnight? And there's more, you can tell?
...But that part about fatherly insticts and...all, reminded me of (click to show/hide)... if you know who that is ;D
EmptyMemory:
--- Quote from: elvikun on April 10, 2012, 03:28:46 PM ---I'd like some input from the Master Pervert.
--- End quote ---
Do you mind Elvi? Everyone's looking at me funny now. Apparently, it's inappropriate for me to laugh out loud in the middle of a lecture.
metro.:
--- Quote from: elvikun on April 10, 2012, 12:24:25 PM ---Let me start with *facepalm* ok... no, actually, wait... *faceplam* Oh. Good now. To the topic calmly.
First off the "I had sex. It was wonderfull" and "I'm not a virgin anymore" is about as reliable as Fox news talking about geography, especially when "teens" say it. At some point it became terribly cool/uncool to be and to not be virgin, lies rushed in fast, because noone wants to be uncool, right?
Secondly, if someone is sexy, I don't see how believing they had sex makes them nicer or on the other hand, not having sex makes them unattractive. If someone is hot, they are hot. Period. Isn't it more like "They're having sex and damn, not with me" if anything? I think everyone imagines at least a little bit, but I didn't figure it connects to virginity.
And for the third... Loosing virginity does change you? How? Egobooster perhaps. But why? At the time you lost virginity, you more than likely sucked like hell if you're male and if you're female, you're left with pretty mixed feelings and thankfully for the male counterpart, with nothing to compare it to.
You can't even say it makes you 20% cooler, because it doesn't. Even tho, if you go with the wave or stress yourself over virginity, I guess it can make you feel a lot better and relieved.
I mean, for crying out loud, this isn't 14th century, virginity is irrelevant and sex is part of life just as much as using car.
This myth about life before and after virginity, the great cataclysmic change that comes with it made many young people into pathethic beings. I used to know one such... affected guy. Forcefully trying to prove to everyone that he "fucked X hard, YEEEAAAW" because he obviously couldn't feel male enough if anyone though he is a virgin (Enjoyble thing is that even now, 6 years later I still think the closest he ever got to girl was being in the same room as one). On the other hand, you have those girls going "I'm 15 and I'm STILL a virgin, I much be so ugly, cry, cry, cry, depression, depression".
Will people in general ever get wiser? Doubt it.
Right. 23 / f / no.
Just a reminder. I'm not angry. I'm always talking like that beofre someone slaps me with "chill" hehe.
--- End quote ---
First off, chill ;)
Lots of what you said I kind of expected from someone. This is not a "omguys I had sex look at my e-peen it's throbbing!", I'm actually just curious about this. In hindsight, considering the population this was probably the worse place to ask. Not about lack of sex but just how people tend to view it.
Anyways, losing virginity wasn't about the "cool" thing, it was most about the psychological changes that occurred, at least for me and to some of the other people I talked to. This is going to come across dickish, but I lost mine earlier then most, so I feel like I missed the middle part. I at the "oh man I wanna have sex but I'm a virgin" stage for about a month, so my knowledge of this angst people go through with dealing with virginity or whatever is lost on me.
Like I said, I probably sound like I'm trying to brag or whatever. I'm not. For a few people I've talked to, and I kind of agree, looking at someone differently knowing they've had sex, is more about relating to them in some way. Maybe you're just emotionally jaded/mature Elvi, but for every girl I've talked to, losing their virginity was an emotional experience. So perhaps this is simply a case of me not having enough knowledge of the female, well, human psyche.
I don't think I actually achieved anything with that, but I wrote it out so I might as well just go with it.
Goldfrapp:
The view on virgins totally depends on age.
If I meet someone my age who is still a virgin, and there is no obvious reason that I can spot with my own eye why they still are virgins (Now, Im not gonna list any "obvious reasons here, I might offend anyone, but lets say: if they are dressed like a nun its quite obvious, right?) I would probably think something is wrong mentally/physically, OR that they are saving themselves to marriage, but still, if they are saving themselves to marriage at my age, they better hurry up marry:P
For teenagers: if your a virgin, your a prude, and if you have sex, you are a slut. There is no middleway for girls, best is just to not care what other thinks.
Luckily.
Everything changes when you get older and more confident with yourself and ..ah, how you do it. Youll look different on it in a few years.
Experience is the key to success, and if you do it alot with one person, or with many, it doesnt really matter, as long as you enjoy it.
?/f/no
EmptyMemory:
--- Quote from: Goldfrapp on April 10, 2012, 06:14:39 PM ---it doesnt really matter, as long as you enjoy it.
--- End quote ---
+1
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