A Whole New Light

[EmptyMemory]

Mmmmmmmm, let me think.
If I get to know that someone is virgin after reaching age of 20 I do thing differently of them (if they are no religious), make a small smile and ask - why?

Cringe.


If I meet a girl, become friends with her, and get to know her, I will make judgments based on what I see. Suppose that after knowing her fairly well, I'm suddenly informed that she is/is not a virgin. I don't think my view of her would change that much.

Obviously, if the first thing I'm told about her is her v-status, I'm probably going to make some sort of judgement based off that, but that's only because, at that point, I won't have had much to work with.

[buchno]

Sex, sex, sex... It is what a huge part of our constructs complies to, and plays a big role in society.

Yet, I find it being vastly overrated. None of the (relatively few) times I've done it have been that amazing magical experience it is told to be. Frankly, I was disappointed when I "lost" my virginity. It may be because I've never really had someone who is experienced or knows what to do, though, but I don't know about that yet...

So, I don't really care if people are virgins or not. There is so much more in life.
And, you already know my "status"...

[Saras]

For males, it is a sort of right of passage. It doesn't matter if you do it, but it kind of does if you didn't.

As for the viewpoint on women. I've heard sexiness described as something that's based purely on your assumptions about someone, not knowledge. So, if you have a mindset that actively tells you that people who have had sex are more interesting in bed, I could very well see you perceiving them as sexier. I've also heard this used to explain "sexiness" versus "attractiveness", a long time partner can very well be attractive, but she cannot be sexy, because you already know most of what she's capable of.

Male / roughly 22 / Reading the topic, I suppose I'm a bit of a late bloomer. Still I suppose I'm fairly chaste by comparison as I've only had a few partners.

Oh, Elvis-kun.
I've absolutely no memory of either my first kiss or of my first time holding hands. I still have memories of my first crush thought.

[elvikun]

(click to show/hide)

What I meant is that when you asked people about your age or younger about virginity, there is a good chance they said "Sure, I have sex, like, all the time, you know." but it's not truth, just trying to look "cool"(And frankly, that goes tripple for males). How do you tell who is telling the truth?

There's an old joke; you ask a man how many women he's slept with, divide by three to find the real answer. Ask a woman how many men she's slept with, double it to find the real answer.

The most interesting point I've seen raised is whether you view someone differently after sex (rather than specifically virginity). Avoiding the obvious 'well now I don't have to imagine what she looks like topless hurr hurr' type jokes (ok, I had to make one ) I usually don't think of them in a new light at all. I'll have decided already what I wanted from the situation, whether we were in a blossoming relationship or we were both drunk in a bar. I don't really become any more emotionally entangled; I don't really know them any better as a person do I? It's just a fun activity. The same, however, is most certainly not true for women. I don't know why, but the difference before and after is that afterwards even the most benign of comments, ordinarily ignored, become deep painful insults causing them to burst into tears leaving the guy scratching his head. The phase usually passes but the amount of time I've reduced partners to tears without a clue why is mind boggling.

And yes, the jokes like... He is amazing. Best 7 seconds in my life!
are very old. Hurr hurr.

1. Think good and long about who your best friend is.
2. Somehow manage to sleep with them.
3. Invite them to beer/whatever.
4. Come back and say nothing is different whatsoever.

Yeah. You wouldn't prolly get to do point 4 honestly. And that's what at least I've meant.

And plese, please, everytime you plan on saying something very terribly awkward about women, at least have the courtesy of putting "some of" or similar before it. Do it just for me, so I don't have to go on the "it's about principe" counter-argument crusade about the fact that not every woman is submissive and totally stupid. 



And to the topic, I still think it's all very irrelevant. You can't tell by looking. Say what you will, but you can't.
And being over 20 and virgin doesn't really mean much either, I know a few people who are virgins, way over 20 and they simply don't care, and yet they are very intelligent, interesting and attractive people. Not fitting what you say makes virgin obvious in any way.
It really matter only if you have the need to keep on bragging about it all the time.

Oh, Elvis-kun.
I've absolutely no memory of either my first kiss or of my first time holding hands. I still have memories of my first crush thought.

Oh, I forgot to mention, you first have to do it.

...Ok, on serious note, I don't know about about the forgetability (erm) of those, what I meant is that it is somewhat emotional and thrilling, because it's something very new and at the time, perhaps important.

Oh come on, don't tell me I'm the only one thrilled about new things.

PS: Evil is ok, but not Elvis please.

[AceHigh]

For males, it is a sort of right of passage. It doesn't matter if you do it, but it kind of does if you didn't.

Ha! That's funny, because if you think about the whole point of sex, then it means that you are a failure if you didn't impregnate a woman even if you had sex like a thousand times 

[elvikun]

For males, it is a sort of right of passage. It doesn't matter if you do it, but it kind of does if you didn't.

Ha! That's funny, because if you think about the whole point of sex, then it means that you are a failure if you didn't impregnate a woman even if you had sex like a thousand times 

Kind of returns me to the "We're not in 14th century anymore". Tho this is more like Stone age. 

[TiYlER]

Male.
Age 16 going on 17.
Virgin.

I do not see girls any differently simply because I assume everyone I know has had sex.

[AceHigh]

Stone age must have been easy for males. Pretty sure a date went like:

"Ugh ugh, I see female"
*knocks her out with a club*
*drags her into a cave*
*has 5 minutes sex with an unconscious woman"
*Rolls over and sleeps*

Good old times 

[Saras]

Oh, I forgot to mention, you first have to do it.

...Ok, on serious note, I don't know about about the forgetability (erm) of those, what I meant is that it is somewhat emotional and thrilling, because it's something very new and at the time, perhaps important.

Oh come on, don't tell me I'm the only one thrilled about new things.

Is it? Don't most prepubescents kind of get it over with the local equivalents of games of dare? While not my first kiss, I kind of remember getting my first French kiss like that in middle school. These are hardly emotional occasions, generally just bunches of brats doing stupid things.

[rostheferret]

(click to show/hide)

What I meant is that when you asked people about your age or younger about virginity, there is a good chance they said "Sure, I have sex, like, all the time, you know." but it's not truth, just trying to look "cool"(And frankly, that goes tripple for males). How do you tell who is telling the truth?

There's an old joke; you ask a man how many women he's slept with, divide by three to find the real answer. Ask a woman how many men she's slept with, double it to find the real answer.

The most interesting point I've seen raised is whether you view someone differently after sex (rather than specifically virginity). Avoiding the obvious 'well now I don't have to imagine what she looks like topless hurr hurr' type jokes (ok, I had to make one ) I usually don't think of them in a new light at all. I'll have decided already what I wanted from the situation, whether we were in a blossoming relationship or we were both drunk in a bar. I don't really become any more emotionally entangled; I don't really know them any better as a person do I? It's just a fun activity. The same, however, is most certainly not true for women. I don't know why, but the difference before and after is that afterwards even the most benign of comments, ordinarily ignored, become deep painful insults causing them to burst into tears leaving the guy scratching his head. The phase usually passes but the amount of time I've reduced partners to tears without a clue why is mind boggling.

And yes, the jokes like... He is amazing. Best 7 seconds in my life!
are very old. Hurr hurr.

1. Think good and long about who your best friend is.
2. Somehow manage to sleep with them.
3. Invite them to beer/whatever.
4. Come back and say nothing is different whatsoever.

Yeah. You wouldn't prolly get to do point 4 honestly. And that's what at least I've meant.

And plese, please, everytime you plan on saying something very terribly awkward about women, at least have the courtesy of putting "some of" or similar before it. Do it just for me, so I don't have to go on the "it's about principe" counter-argument crusade about the fact that not every woman is submissive and totally stupid. 

The second bit wasn't directed at you btw, just a generalisation I've noticed often seems to be true. And yes, if we're talking about someone whose a close friend then sex is incredibly weird, and yes ofc things will suddenly be all the more awkward. Especially seeing as my two closest friends are both male. It has nothing to do with stupidity or the like, it's not even a negative connotation; women tend to form stronger emotional attachments from sex than men. I on the other hand, form far stronger emotional connections to someone from events in a completely de-sexualised manner. This could just be me.

EDIT: Actually, now that I think of it, my best friend when I was about 16 was female, and yes I did sleep with her. My feelings towards her didn't change, but I knew hers had, which in turn made things more difficult and we lost contact a few months later. I still didn't view her in a romantic manner, she was a good friend who happened to be attractive, throw alcohol into the mix and one thing led to another, yada yada. Maybe I'm emotionally stunted, who knows, but this goes back to my original point, women tend to feel a stronger emotional connection from sex than men do (in my experience).

[elvikun]

(click to show/hide)

(click to show/hide)

What I meant is that when you asked people about your age or younger about virginity, there is a good chance they said "Sure, I have sex, like, all the time, you know." but it's not truth, just trying to look "cool"(And frankly, that goes tripple for males). How do you tell who is telling the truth?

There's an old joke; you ask a man how many women he's slept with, divide by three to find the real answer. Ask a woman how many men she's slept with, double it to find the real answer.

The most interesting point I've seen raised is whether you view someone differently after sex (rather than specifically virginity). Avoiding the obvious 'well now I don't have to imagine what she looks like topless hurr hurr' type jokes (ok, I had to make one ) I usually don't think of them in a new light at all. I'll have decided already what I wanted from the situation, whether we were in a blossoming relationship or we were both drunk in a bar. I don't really become any more emotionally entangled; I don't really know them any better as a person do I? It's just a fun activity. The same, however, is most certainly not true for women. I don't know why, but the difference before and after is that afterwards even the most benign of comments, ordinarily ignored, become deep painful insults causing them to burst into tears leaving the guy scratching his head. The phase usually passes but the amount of time I've reduced partners to tears without a clue why is mind boggling.

And yes, the jokes like... He is amazing. Best 7 seconds in my life!
are very old. Hurr hurr.

1. Think good and long about who your best friend is.
2. Somehow manage to sleep with them.
3. Invite them to beer/whatever.
4. Come back and say nothing is different whatsoever.

Yeah. You wouldn't prolly get to do point 4 honestly. And that's what at least I've meant.

And plese, please, everytime you plan on saying something very terribly awkward about women, at least have the courtesy of putting "some of" or similar before it. Do it just for me, so I don't have to go on the "it's about principe" counter-argument crusade about the fact that not every woman is submissive and totally stupid. 

The second bit wasn't directed at you btw, just a generalisation I've noticed often seems to be true. And yes, if we're talking about someone whose a close friend then sex is incredibly weird, and yes ofc things will suddenly be all the more awkward. Especially seeing as my two closest friends are both male. It has nothing to do with stupidity or the like, it's not even a negative connotation; women tend to form stronger emotional attachments from sex than men. I on the other hand, form far stronger emotional connections to someone from events in a completely de-sexualised manner. This could just be me.

EDIT: Actually, now that I think of it, my best friend when I was about 16 was female, and yes I did sleep with her. My feelings towards her didn't change, but I knew hers had, which in turn made things more difficult and we lost contact a few months later. I still didn't view her in a romantic manner, she was a good friend who happened to be attractive, throw alcohol into the mix and one thing led to another, yada yada. Maybe I'm emotionally stunted, who knows, but this goes back to my original point, women tend to feel a stronger emotional connection from sex than men do (in my experience).

Oh yeah, when one expects love and the other friendship. And they say only girls friendzone guys. That's why generalizations are so dangerous.

And sorry, it just that you sounded like man-Cosmopolitan psychologist. If you ever saw Cosmopolitan, you know it's not a good thing - "We are women and that's why we know all about men better than any man. It also always, with no exception is the truth. If it doesn't seem so, it is because he is not honest with you.".  Ok, poking you with a stick a bit righ here.
It's just that sometimes, I feel like I'm visiting Narnia here. Like almost everyone has just paragon stereotype-people around them. But then again, maybe I'm just so terrific dominant and unique (read: Crazy) person who has friends of similar nature and has very little changce to get in contact with the "classic" people.

(click to show/hide)

Oh, I forgot to mention, you first have to do it.

...Ok, on serious note, I don't know about about the forgetability (erm) of those, what I meant is that it is somewhat emotional and thrilling, because it's something very new and at the time, perhaps important.

Oh come on, don't tell me I'm the only one thrilled about new things.

Is it? Don't most prepubescents kind of get it over with the local equivalents of games of dare? While not my first kiss, I kind of remember getting my first French kiss like that in middle school. These are hardly emotional occasions, generally just bunches of brats doing stupid things.

Oh, but I meant the real deal, the symbolic, real ones which actually means something. The young souls holding hands under the blooming cherry tree while the sun is at dusk... Not the "Jane and Jack now must go to the closet and kiss each other!!!" stuff.
I hope you see it's hyped up a bit.

Good old times 

You have very un-Vinking like imagination there, brother.

[Saras]

Oh, but I meant the real deal, the symbolic, real ones which actually means something. The young souls holding hands under the blooming cherry tree while the sun is at dusk... Not the "Jane and Jack now must go to the closet and kiss each other!!!" stuff.
I hope you see it's hyped up a bit.

Oh well. Guess I'm just more emotionally dead and indifferent than I thought at first. It's surprising how a community of  Chinese cartoons work so well in bringing jaded bitter bastards together in one tight nit circle.

[AceHigh]

You have very un-Vinking like imagination there, brother.

Alas the stone age ended before the Viking age, in which the most common way to get a wife was to kidnap one or several in Britain or Ireland. (Baltic countries for the Swedish vikings). So don't tell me about Viking imagination, less it might be misunderstood as an invitation. (Pillaging and burning your house is included into the service)

[rostheferret]

(click to show/hide)

(click to show/hide)

What I meant is that when you asked people about your age or younger about virginity, there is a good chance they said "Sure, I have sex, like, all the time, you know." but it's not truth, just trying to look "cool"(And frankly, that goes tripple for males). How do you tell who is telling the truth?

There's an old joke; you ask a man how many women he's slept with, divide by three to find the real answer. Ask a woman how many men she's slept with, double it to find the real answer.

The most interesting point I've seen raised is whether you view someone differently after sex (rather than specifically virginity). Avoiding the obvious 'well now I don't have to imagine what she looks like topless hurr hurr' type jokes (ok, I had to make one ) I usually don't think of them in a new light at all. I'll have decided already what I wanted from the situation, whether we were in a blossoming relationship or we were both drunk in a bar. I don't really become any more emotionally entangled; I don't really know them any better as a person do I? It's just a fun activity. The same, however, is most certainly not true for women. I don't know why, but the difference before and after is that afterwards even the most benign of comments, ordinarily ignored, become deep painful insults causing them to burst into tears leaving the guy scratching his head. The phase usually passes but the amount of time I've reduced partners to tears without a clue why is mind boggling.

And yes, the jokes like... He is amazing. Best 7 seconds in my life!
are very old. Hurr hurr.

1. Think good and long about who your best friend is.
2. Somehow manage to sleep with them.
3. Invite them to beer/whatever.
4. Come back and say nothing is different whatsoever.

Yeah. You wouldn't prolly get to do point 4 honestly. And that's what at least I've meant.

And plese, please, everytime you plan on saying something very terribly awkward about women, at least have the courtesy of putting "some of" or similar before it. Do it just for me, so I don't have to go on the "it's about principe" counter-argument crusade about the fact that not every woman is submissive and totally stupid. 

The second bit wasn't directed at you btw, just a generalisation I've noticed often seems to be true. And yes, if we're talking about someone whose a close friend then sex is incredibly weird, and yes ofc things will suddenly be all the more awkward. Especially seeing as my two closest friends are both male. It has nothing to do with stupidity or the like, it's not even a negative connotation; women tend to form stronger emotional attachments from sex than men. I on the other hand, form far stronger emotional connections to someone from events in a completely de-sexualised manner. This could just be me.

EDIT: Actually, now that I think of it, my best friend when I was about 16 was female, and yes I did sleep with her. My feelings towards her didn't change, but I knew hers had, which in turn made things more difficult and we lost contact a few months later. I still didn't view her in a romantic manner, she was a good friend who happened to be attractive, throw alcohol into the mix and one thing led to another, yada yada. Maybe I'm emotionally stunted, who knows, but this goes back to my original point, women tend to feel a stronger emotional connection from sex than men do (in my experience).

Oh yeah, when one expects love and the other friendship. And they say only girls friendzone guys. That's why generalizations are so dangerous.

And sorry, it just that you sounded like man-Cosmopolitan psychologist. If you ever saw Cosmopolitan, you know it's not a good thing - "We are women and that's why we know all about men better than any man. It also always, with no exception is the truth. If it doesn't seem so, it is because he is not honest with you.".  Ok, poking you with a stick a bit righ here.
It's just that sometimes, I feel like I'm visiting Narnia here. Like almost everyone has just paragon stereotype-people around them. But then again, maybe I'm just so terrific dominant and unique (read: Crazy) person who has friends of similar nature and has very little changce to get in contact with the "classic" people.

Don't apologise, I was worried I offended you And whilst I do think guys friend-zone girls - I think it's natural for anyone who becomes friends to stop seeing them in a sexual context - I've never heard a guy complain that all the bad girls are assholes and then repeatedly go for the bad girls. I think that's what annoys guys the most, and I think most know at least one girl like that. Phrases like "Why can't I meet a guy like you... but not actually you of course" is just frustrating when you have a crush. Generalisations are only dangerous when the other party doesn't realise the inherent limitations of generalisations. I'm not going to stop making them, but I shouldn't have to implicitly state that not everyone adheres to it, it should be obvious that not everyone is the same.

P.S. Everyone knows the crazies are more fun.

You have very un-Vinking like imagination there, brother.

Alas the stone age ended before the Viking age, in which the most common way to get a wife was to kidnap one or several in Britain or Ireland. (Baltic countries for the Swedish vikings). So don't tell me about Viking imagination, less it might be misunderstood as an invitation. (Pillaging and burning your house is included into the service)

Have you seen what half the women here look like? Take em I'll be joining the Swedes...

[Nikkoru]

I'm hating both myself and metro for reading the previous 2 pages. Mostly metro.

Sex does have personal significance, but it should be about the people who are participating in it. We've been functioning under a narrative for a while now that it's something like sporting event, the first man to get into someone's pants is the winner with extra points for performance. It leads to some dumb decision making and shallow sex lives.

I don't condemn people for any sexual choices they come to make, but if the motivation behind those choices is as vapid as personal gratification with a sort of victor's disdain towards one's sexual conquest than they're no better than Makoto from SD. With a predictably bad end. While some people are naturally egocentric bastards, my broader concern is that youth culture in general lionizes these values to disconcerting degrees. This is why the sort of piteous contempt for the chaste or late bloomer annoys me; It expresses the belief that the act is of greater significance to maintain credibility with one's peers than any personal emotional and romantic significance one has with their partner before and after.

[metro.]

Don't apologise, I was worried I offended you And whilst I do think guys friend-zone girls - I think it's natural for anyone who becomes friends to stop seeing them in a sexual context - I've never heard a guy complain that all the bad girls are assholes and then repeatedly go for the bad girls. I think that's what annoys guys the most, and I think most know at least one girl like that. Phrases like "Why can't I meet a guy like you... but not actually you of course" is just frustrating when you have a crush. Generalisations are only dangerous when the other party doesn't realise the inherent limitations of generalisations. I'm not going to stop making them, but I shouldn't have to implicitly state that not everyone adheres to it, it should be obvious that not everyone is the same.

P.S. Everyone knows the crazies are more fun.

Ros, this picture sums it up pretty well. I think anyways

And your point about women being more emotionally connected to sex might be valid for some, but not for others. I've met some girls where sex is just an enjoyable to get something from a guy. Not even slutty, just manipulative, and attractive... sorry I digress.

Mmmmmmmm, let me think.
If I get to know that someone is virgin after reaching age of 20 I do thing differently of them (if they are no religious), make a small smile and ask - why?

Hahaha I've started doing this and seeing how long it takes for people to flat out run away.
The ones that stick around, maybe actually worth getting to know.

Cringe.


If I meet a girl, become friends with her, and get to know her, I will make judgments based on what I see. Suppose that after knowing her fairly well, I'm suddenly informed that she is/is not a virgin. I don't think my view of her would change that much.

Obviously, if the first thing I'm told about her is her v-status, I'm probably going to make some sort of judgement based off that, but that's only because, at that point, I won't have had much to work with.

Gah, I'm not talking about judging
But you're just being elitist Virginity, or lack thereof by extension, isn't something that makes you better or worse then someone. imho.

If I get to know someone, and then she's like "oh yeah, and I'm a virgin", I'm usually just rattled. The whole "innocence is attractive" only works in one situation, and it'll never be as good as you expect it to be. I mean, not like she's experienced or anything.

P.S. Everyone knows the crazies are more fun.

+1

I'm hating both myself and metro for reading the previous 2 pages. Mostly metro.

Sex does have personal significance, but it should be about the people who are participating in it. We've been functioning under a narrative for a while now that it's something like sporting event, the first man to get into someone's pants is the winner with extra points for performance. It leads to some dumb decision making and shallow sex lives.

How is this my fault?!

I never said it was like "omg sex yesssss" everyone just assumed that's what I meant and ran with it.
If anyone is at fault, I think we should blame Elvi. I think...

[rostheferret]

Don't apologise, I was worried I offended you And whilst I do think guys friend-zone girls - I think it's natural for anyone who becomes friends to stop seeing them in a sexual context - I've never heard a guy complain that all the bad girls are assholes and then repeatedly go for the bad girls. I think that's what annoys guys the most, and I think most know at least one girl like that. Phrases like "Why can't I meet a guy like you... but not actually you of course" is just frustrating when you have a crush. Generalisations are only dangerous when the other party doesn't realise the inherent limitations of generalisations. I'm not going to stop making them, but I shouldn't have to implicitly state that not everyone adheres to it, it should be obvious that not everyone is the same.

P.S. Everyone knows the crazies are more fun.

Ros, this picture sums it up pretty well. I think anyways

And your point about women being more emotionally connected to sex might be valid for some, but not for others. I've met some girls where sex is just an enjoyable to get something from a guy. Not even slutty, just manipulative, and attractive... sorry I digress.

Yeah, I've known women like that but they often prove to be the exception rather than the rule. An attractive women hits on a single guy, odds are most of us will end up being dogs and going for it. Some women realise the power they can wield, others never quite do...

[Nikkoru]

I'm hating both myself and metro for reading the previous 2 pages. Mostly metro.

Sex does have personal significance, but it should be about the people who are participating in it. We've been functioning under a narrative for a while now that it's something like sporting event, the first man to get into someone's pants is the winner with extra points for performance. It leads to some dumb decision making and shallow sex lives.

How is this my fault?!

I never said it was like "omg sex yesssss" everyone just assumed that's what I meant and ran with it.
If anyone is at fault, I think we should blame Elvi. I think...

A; having nerds talk about sex is bad, always... always... always. This is why Shakespearean plays are about the attractive young nobility and not the apothecary's apprentice with the acne who spends his time in the back of the shop obsessively mixing elixirs and brews until 4 AM and thinks he's got a real shot with the neighbouring merchant's daughter now that she has lyme disease.

B; You decided to make a topic about a discussion you had at 5 AM, this in itself sets off the big blinking warning lights and squealing sirens over at the internet hall o' justice.

C; You have a marvellous talent at saying the perfectly wrong sounding thing, it's practically a super power.

D; I can't blame Evil, as she violates all laws of gods and nature by simply being on the internet, you might as well criticize a pink fluffy unicorn for your credit problems.

[metro.]

A; having nerds talk about sex is bad, always... always... always. This is why Shakespearean plays are about the attractive young nobility and not the apothecary's apprentice with the acne who spends his time in the back of the shop obsessively mixing elixirs and brews until 4 AM and thinks he's got a real shot with the neighbouring merchant's daughter now that she has lyme disease.

B; You decided to make a topic about a discussion you had at 5 AM, this in itself sets off the big blinking warning lights and squealing sirens over at the internet hall o' justice.

C; You have a marvellous talent at saying the perfectly wrong sounding thing, it's practically a super power.

D; I can't blame Evil, as she violates all laws of gods and nature by simply being on the internet, you might as well criticize a pink fluffy unicorn for your credit problems.

I wanted varied points of views on this issue. I didn't start it at 5AM, and hey, one it gets late enough you start to think outside the box
And I assure you that C only applies online. As weird as it sounds, I'm actually not too terrible with words.

More importantly you use ; instead of : and it's bugging me.

[elvikun]

(click to show/hide)

(click to show/hide)

(click to show/hide)

What I meant is that when you asked people about your age or younger about virginity, there is a good chance they said "Sure, I have sex, like, all the time, you know." but it's not truth, just trying to look "cool"(And frankly, that goes tripple for males). How do you tell who is telling the truth?

There's an old joke; you ask a man how many women he's slept with, divide by three to find the real answer. Ask a woman how many men she's slept with, double it to find the real answer.

The most interesting point I've seen raised is whether you view someone differently after sex (rather than specifically virginity). Avoiding the obvious 'well now I don't have to imagine what she looks like topless hurr hurr' type jokes (ok, I had to make one ) I usually don't think of them in a new light at all. I'll have decided already what I wanted from the situation, whether we were in a blossoming relationship or we were both drunk in a bar. I don't really become any more emotionally entangled; I don't really know them any better as a person do I? It's just a fun activity. The same, however, is most certainly not true for women. I don't know why, but the difference before and after is that afterwards even the most benign of comments, ordinarily ignored, become deep painful insults causing them to burst into tears leaving the guy scratching his head. The phase usually passes but the amount of time I've reduced partners to tears without a clue why is mind boggling.

And yes, the jokes like... He is amazing. Best 7 seconds in my life!
are very old. Hurr hurr.

1. Think good and long about who your best friend is.
2. Somehow manage to sleep with them.
3. Invite them to beer/whatever.
4. Come back and say nothing is different whatsoever.

Yeah. You wouldn't prolly get to do point 4 honestly. And that's what at least I've meant.

And plese, please, everytime you plan on saying something very terribly awkward about women, at least have the courtesy of putting "some of" or similar before it. Do it just for me, so I don't have to go on the "it's about principe" counter-argument crusade about the fact that not every woman is submissive and totally stupid. 

The second bit wasn't directed at you btw, just a generalisation I've noticed often seems to be true. And yes, if we're talking about someone whose a close friend then sex is incredibly weird, and yes ofc things will suddenly be all the more awkward. Especially seeing as my two closest friends are both male. It has nothing to do with stupidity or the like, it's not even a negative connotation; women tend to form stronger emotional attachments from sex than men. I on the other hand, form far stronger emotional connections to someone from events in a completely de-sexualised manner. This could just be me.

EDIT: Actually, now that I think of it, my best friend when I was about 16 was female, and yes I did sleep with her. My feelings towards her didn't change, but I knew hers had, which in turn made things more difficult and we lost contact a few months later. I still didn't view her in a romantic manner, she was a good friend who happened to be attractive, throw alcohol into the mix and one thing led to another, yada yada. Maybe I'm emotionally stunted, who knows, but this goes back to my original point, women tend to feel a stronger emotional connection from sex than men do (in my experience).

Oh yeah, when one expects love and the other friendship. And they say only girls friendzone guys. That's why generalizations are so dangerous.

And sorry, it just that you sounded like man-Cosmopolitan psychologist. If you ever saw Cosmopolitan, you know it's not a good thing - "We are women and that's why we know all about men better than any man. It also always, with no exception is the truth. If it doesn't seem so, it is because he is not honest with you.".  Ok, poking you with a stick a bit righ here.
It's just that sometimes, I feel like I'm visiting Narnia here. Like almost everyone has just paragon stereotype-people around them. But then again, maybe I'm just so terrific dominant and unique (read: Crazy) person who has friends of similar nature and has very little changce to get in contact with the "classic" people.

Don't apologise, I was worried I offended you And whilst I do think guys friend-zone girls - I think it's natural for anyone who becomes friends to stop seeing them in a sexual context - I've never heard a guy complain that all the bad girls are assholes and then repeatedly go for the bad girls. I think that's what annoys guys the most, and I think most know at least one girl like that. Phrases like "Why can't I meet a guy like you... but not actually you of course" is just frustrating when you have a crush. Generalisations are only dangerous when the other party doesn't realise the inherent limitations of generalisations. I'm not going to stop making them, but I shouldn't have to implicitly state that not everyone adheres to it, it should be obvious that not everyone is the same.

P.S. Everyone knows the crazies are more fun.

You have very un-Vinking like imagination there, brother.

(click to show/hide)

Alas the stone age ended before the Viking age, in which the most common way to get a wife was to kidnap one or several in Britain or Ireland. (Baltic countries for the Swedish vikings). So don't tell me about Viking imagination, less it might be misunderstood as an invitation. (Pillaging and burning your house is included into the service)

Have you seen what half the women here look like? Take em I'll be joining the Swedes...

Yeah, offended me. It's not easy to do that. I'm often just slightly irritated when a man starts to talk about women and puts it as if it's a rule, yet it's something I wouldn't even consider doing. Especially crying. The last time I did that was before elementary shool and that was because I had enormous piece of metal stuck in my leg. Gee, maybe metro was right and I am emotionally jaded, heh.  I guess the irritation is caused by all the years of listening to men talk about "them stupid bitches" (vulgar simplification) on the internet and sometimes, I can't help but take it personally.

But thinking back, I'm really a bit odd. I never went trough the "looking cool" stage or the typical high school experiences and romances. I never liked "bad boys", I never sat there with girls talking about ... shit. I never giggled on football players, I never blushed, neved made little hearts out of question marks, never smoked to look adult, never drank for the sake of drinking, never played the dare games... And man, it goes on and on. But, for some reason, trying to not be cool and not caring was perceived as very cool by many, but it usually din't last for long, as not many people could take my sarcasm and skepticism at that time, lol.  I usually ended up with a group of nerds making epic poems about my accomplisments in Morrowind and Ultima.
Well. That's sad. I almost want to go on about it and it feels so long time ago even tho it's not more than 7 or 8 years.
Oh the nostalgia overload.



Also wanted to make a defense-joke about the women in england, but then I realised it's no joking matter. The level of uglyness is seriously high in some areas, haha.


@metro
Hey, make threads like this often. Nothing else sparks my interest so much. I hope I didn't sound like I actually dislike any part of the thread.