Discussion Forums > The Lounge
A Whole New Light
elvikun:
--- Quote from: rostheferret on April 10, 2012, 08:06:42 PM --- (click to show/hide)
--- Quote from: elvikun on April 10, 2012, 07:51:07 PM ---
--- Quote from: rostheferret on April 10, 2012, 07:31:58 PM --- (click to show/hide)
--- Quote from: elvikun on April 10, 2012, 06:36:54 PM --- What I meant is that when you asked people about your age or younger about virginity, there is a good chance they said "Sure, I have sex, like, all the time, you know." but it's not truth, just trying to look "cool"(And frankly, that goes tripple for males). How do you tell who is telling the truth?
--- End quote ---
There's an old joke; you ask a man how many women he's slept with, divide by three to find the real answer. Ask a woman how many men she's slept with, double it to find the real answer. :P
The most interesting point I've seen raised is whether you view someone differently after sex (rather than specifically virginity). Avoiding the obvious 'well now I don't have to imagine what she looks like topless hurr hurr' type jokes (ok, I had to make one >.<) I usually don't think of them in a new light at all. I'll have decided already what I wanted from the situation, whether we were in a blossoming relationship or we were both drunk in a bar. I don't really become any more emotionally entangled; I don't really know them any better as a person do I? It's just a fun activity. The same, however, is most certainly not true for women. I don't know why, but the difference before and after is that afterwards even the most benign of comments, ordinarily ignored, become deep painful insults causing them to burst into tears leaving the guy scratching his head. The phase usually passes but the amount of time I've reduced partners to tears without a clue why is mind boggling.
--- End quote ---
And yes, the jokes like... He is amazing. Best 7 seconds in my life!
are very old. Hurr hurr.
1. Think good and long about who your best friend is.
2. Somehow manage to sleep with them.
3. Invite them to beer/whatever.
4. Come back and say nothing is different whatsoever.
Yeah. You wouldn't prolly get to do point 4 honestly. And that's what at least I've meant.
And plese, please, everytime you plan on saying something very terribly awkward about women, at least have the courtesy of putting "some of" or similar before it. Do it just for me, so I don't have to go on the "it's about principe" counter-argument crusade about the fact that not every woman is submissive and totally stupid. ;D
--- End quote ---
The second bit wasn't directed at you btw, just a generalisation I've noticed often seems to be true. And yes, if we're talking about someone whose a close friend then sex is incredibly weird, and yes ofc things will suddenly be all the more awkward. Especially seeing as my two closest friends are both male. It has nothing to do with stupidity or the like, it's not even a negative connotation; women tend to form stronger emotional attachments from sex than men. I on the other hand, form far stronger emotional connections to someone from events in a completely de-sexualised manner. This could just be me.
EDIT: Actually, now that I think of it, my best friend when I was about 16 was female, and yes I did sleep with her. My feelings towards her didn't change, but I knew hers had, which in turn made things more difficult and we lost contact a few months later. I still didn't view her in a romantic manner, she was a good friend who happened to be attractive, throw alcohol into the mix and one thing led to another, yada yada. Maybe I'm emotionally stunted, who knows, but this goes back to my original point, women tend to feel a stronger emotional connection from sex than men do (in my experience).
--- End quote ---
Oh yeah, when one expects love and the other friendship. And they say only girls friendzone guys. That's why generalizations are so dangerous.
And sorry, it just that you sounded like man-Cosmopolitan psychologist. If you ever saw Cosmopolitan, you know it's not a good thing - "We are women and that's why we know all about men better than any man. It also always, with no exception is the truth. If it doesn't seem so, it is because he is not honest with you.". Ok, poking you with a stick a bit righ here.
It's just that sometimes, I feel like I'm visiting Narnia here. Like almost everyone has just paragon stereotype-people around them. But then again, maybe I'm just so terrific dominant and unique (read: Crazy) person who has friends of similar nature and has very little changce to get in contact with the "classic" people.
--- Quote from: Saras on April 10, 2012, 08:05:08 PM --- (click to show/hide)
--- Quote from: elvikun on April 10, 2012, 07:51:07 PM ---Oh, I forgot to mention, you first have to do it.
...Ok, on serious note, I don't know about about the forgetability (erm) of those, what I meant is that it is somewhat emotional and thrilling, because it's something very new and at the time, perhaps important.
Oh come on, don't tell me I'm the only one thrilled about new things.
--- End quote ---
Is it? Don't most prepubescents kind of get it over with the local equivalents of games of dare? While not my first kiss, I kind of remember getting my first French kiss like that in middle school. These are hardly emotional occasions, generally just bunches of brats doing stupid things.
--- End quote ---
Oh, but I meant the real deal, the symbolic, real ones which actually means something. The young souls holding hands under the blooming cherry tree while the sun is at dusk... Not the "Jane and Jack now must go to the closet and kiss each other!!!" stuff.
I hope you see it's hyped up a bit.
--- Quote from: AceHigh on April 10, 2012, 08:00:13 PM ---Good old times :D
--- End quote ---
You have very un-Vinking like imagination there, brother.
Saras:
--- Quote from: elvikun on April 10, 2012, 08:39:45 PM ---Oh, but I meant the real deal, the symbolic, real ones which actually means something. The young souls holding hands under the blooming cherry tree while the sun is at dusk... Not the "Jane and Jack now must go to the closet and kiss each other!!!" stuff.
I hope you see it's hyped up a bit.
--- End quote ---
Oh well. Guess I'm just more emotionally dead and indifferent than I thought at first. It's surprising how a community of Chinese cartoons work so well in bringing jaded bitter bastards together in one tight nit circle.
AceHigh:
--- Quote from: elvikun on April 10, 2012, 08:39:45 PM ---You have very un-Vinking like imagination there, brother.
--- End quote ---
Alas the stone age ended before the Viking age, in which the most common way to get a wife was to kidnap one or several in Britain or Ireland. (Baltic countries for the Swedish vikings). So don't tell me about Viking imagination, less it might be misunderstood as an invitation. (Pillaging and burning your house is included into the service)
rostheferret:
--- Quote from: elvikun on April 10, 2012, 08:39:45 PM ---
--- Quote from: rostheferret on April 10, 2012, 08:06:42 PM --- (click to show/hide)
--- Quote from: elvikun on April 10, 2012, 07:51:07 PM ---
--- Quote from: rostheferret on April 10, 2012, 07:31:58 PM --- (click to show/hide)
--- Quote from: elvikun on April 10, 2012, 06:36:54 PM --- What I meant is that when you asked people about your age or younger about virginity, there is a good chance they said "Sure, I have sex, like, all the time, you know." but it's not truth, just trying to look "cool"(And frankly, that goes tripple for males). How do you tell who is telling the truth?
--- End quote ---
There's an old joke; you ask a man how many women he's slept with, divide by three to find the real answer. Ask a woman how many men she's slept with, double it to find the real answer. :P
The most interesting point I've seen raised is whether you view someone differently after sex (rather than specifically virginity). Avoiding the obvious 'well now I don't have to imagine what she looks like topless hurr hurr' type jokes (ok, I had to make one >.<) I usually don't think of them in a new light at all. I'll have decided already what I wanted from the situation, whether we were in a blossoming relationship or we were both drunk in a bar. I don't really become any more emotionally entangled; I don't really know them any better as a person do I? It's just a fun activity. The same, however, is most certainly not true for women. I don't know why, but the difference before and after is that afterwards even the most benign of comments, ordinarily ignored, become deep painful insults causing them to burst into tears leaving the guy scratching his head. The phase usually passes but the amount of time I've reduced partners to tears without a clue why is mind boggling.
--- End quote ---
And yes, the jokes like... He is amazing. Best 7 seconds in my life!
are very old. Hurr hurr.
1. Think good and long about who your best friend is.
2. Somehow manage to sleep with them.
3. Invite them to beer/whatever.
4. Come back and say nothing is different whatsoever.
Yeah. You wouldn't prolly get to do point 4 honestly. And that's what at least I've meant.
And plese, please, everytime you plan on saying something very terribly awkward about women, at least have the courtesy of putting "some of" or similar before it. Do it just for me, so I don't have to go on the "it's about principe" counter-argument crusade about the fact that not every woman is submissive and totally stupid. ;D
--- End quote ---
The second bit wasn't directed at you btw, just a generalisation I've noticed often seems to be true. And yes, if we're talking about someone whose a close friend then sex is incredibly weird, and yes ofc things will suddenly be all the more awkward. Especially seeing as my two closest friends are both male. It has nothing to do with stupidity or the like, it's not even a negative connotation; women tend to form stronger emotional attachments from sex than men. I on the other hand, form far stronger emotional connections to someone from events in a completely de-sexualised manner. This could just be me.
EDIT: Actually, now that I think of it, my best friend when I was about 16 was female, and yes I did sleep with her. My feelings towards her didn't change, but I knew hers had, which in turn made things more difficult and we lost contact a few months later. I still didn't view her in a romantic manner, she was a good friend who happened to be attractive, throw alcohol into the mix and one thing led to another, yada yada. Maybe I'm emotionally stunted, who knows, but this goes back to my original point, women tend to feel a stronger emotional connection from sex than men do (in my experience).
--- End quote ---
Oh yeah, when one expects love and the other friendship. And they say only girls friendzone guys. That's why generalizations are so dangerous.
And sorry, it just that you sounded like man-Cosmopolitan psychologist. If you ever saw Cosmopolitan, you know it's not a good thing - "We are women and that's why we know all about men better than any man. It also always, with no exception is the truth. If it doesn't seem so, it is because he is not honest with you.". Ok, poking you with a stick a bit righ here.
It's just that sometimes, I feel like I'm visiting Narnia here. Like almost everyone has just paragon stereotype-people around them. But then again, maybe I'm just so terrific dominant and unique (read: Crazy) person who has friends of similar nature and has very little changce to get in contact with the "classic" people.
--- End quote ---
Don't apologise, I was worried I offended you >.< And whilst I do think guys friend-zone girls - I think it's natural for anyone who becomes friends to stop seeing them in a sexual context - I've never heard a guy complain that all the bad girls are assholes and then repeatedly go for the bad girls. I think that's what annoys guys the most, and I think most know at least one girl like that. Phrases like "Why can't I meet a guy like you... but not actually you of course" is just frustrating when you have a crush. Generalisations are only dangerous when the other party doesn't realise the inherent limitations of generalisations. I'm not going to stop making them, but I shouldn't have to implicitly state that not everyone adheres to it, it should be obvious that not everyone is the same.
P.S. Everyone knows the crazies are more fun.
--- Quote from: AceHigh on April 10, 2012, 09:18:06 PM ---
--- Quote from: elvikun on April 10, 2012, 08:39:45 PM ---You have very un-Vinking like imagination there, brother.
--- End quote ---
Alas the stone age ended before the Viking age, in which the most common way to get a wife was to kidnap one or several in Britain or Ireland. (Baltic countries for the Swedish vikings). So don't tell me about Viking imagination, less it might be misunderstood as an invitation. (Pillaging and burning your house is included into the service)
--- End quote ---
Have you seen what half the women here look like? Take em :P I'll be joining the Swedes...
Nikkoru:
I'm hating both myself and metro for reading the previous 2 pages. Mostly metro.
Sex does have personal significance, but it should be about the people who are participating in it. We've been functioning under a narrative for a while now that it's something like sporting event, the first man to get into someone's pants is the winner with extra points for performance. It leads to some dumb decision making and shallow sex lives.
I don't condemn people for any sexual choices they come to make, but if the motivation behind those choices is as vapid as personal gratification with a sort of victor's disdain towards one's sexual conquest than they're no better than Makoto from SD. With a predictably bad end. While some people are naturally egocentric bastards, my broader concern is that youth culture in general lionizes these values to disconcerting degrees. This is why the sort of piteous contempt for the chaste or late bloomer annoys me; It expresses the belief that the act is of greater significance to maintain credibility with one's peers than any personal emotional and romantic significance one has with their partner before and after.
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