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A Whole New Light

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metro.:

--- Quote from: rostheferret on April 10, 2012, 09:23:44 PM ---Don't apologise, I was worried I offended you >.< And whilst I do think guys friend-zone girls - I think it's natural for anyone who becomes friends to stop seeing them in a sexual context - I've never heard a guy complain that all the bad girls are assholes and then repeatedly go for the bad girls. I think that's what annoys guys the most, and I think most know at least one girl like that. Phrases like "Why can't I meet a guy like you... but not actually you of course" is just frustrating when you have a crush. Generalisations are only dangerous when the other party doesn't realise the inherent limitations of generalisations. I'm not going to stop making them, but I shouldn't have to implicitly state that not everyone adheres to it, it should be obvious that not everyone is the same.

P.S. Everyone knows the crazies are more fun.

--- End quote ---

Ros, this picture sums it up pretty well. I think anyways :)

And your point about women being more emotionally connected to sex might be valid for some, but not for others. I've met some girls where sex is just an enjoyable to get something from a guy. Not even slutty, just manipulative, and attractive... sorry I digress.



--- Quote from: harpy on April 10, 2012, 06:49:06 PM ---Mmmmmmmm, let me think.
If I get to know that someone is virgin after reaching age of 20 I do thing differently of them (if they are no religious), make a small smile and ask - why?

--- End quote ---
Hahaha I've started doing this and seeing how long it takes for people to flat out run away.
The ones that stick around, maybe actually worth getting to know.


--- Quote from: EmptyMemory on April 10, 2012, 07:37:39 PM ---Cringe.


If I meet a girl, become friends with her, and get to know her, I will make judgments based on what I see. Suppose that after knowing her fairly well, I'm suddenly informed that she is/is not a virgin. I don't think my view of her would change that much.

Obviously, if the first thing I'm told about her is her v-status, I'm probably going to make some sort of judgement based off that, but that's only because, at that point, I won't have had much to work with.

--- End quote ---
Gah, I'm not talking about judging :(
But you're just being elitist ;) Virginity, or lack thereof by extension, isn't something that makes you better or worse then someone. imho.

If I get to know someone, and then she's like "oh yeah, and I'm a virgin", I'm usually just rattled. The whole "innocence is attractive" only works in one situation, and it'll never be as good as you expect it to be. I mean, not like she's experienced or anything.


--- Quote from: rostheferret on April 10, 2012, 09:23:44 PM ---P.S. Everyone knows the crazies are more fun.

--- End quote ---

+1


--- Quote from: Nikkoru on April 10, 2012, 09:33:05 PM ---I'm hating both myself and metro for reading the previous 2 pages. Mostly metro.

Sex does have personal significance, but it should be about the people who are participating in it. We've been functioning under a narrative for a while now that it's something like sporting event, the first man to get into someone's pants is the winner with extra points for performance. It leads to some dumb decision making and shallow sex lives.

--- End quote ---

How is this my fault?! :(

I never said it was like "omg sex yesssss" everyone just assumed that's what I meant and ran with it.
If anyone is at fault, I think we should blame Elvi. I think...

rostheferret:

--- Quote from: metro. on April 10, 2012, 09:36:37 PM ---
--- Quote from: rostheferret on April 10, 2012, 09:23:44 PM ---Don't apologise, I was worried I offended you >.< And whilst I do think guys friend-zone girls - I think it's natural for anyone who becomes friends to stop seeing them in a sexual context - I've never heard a guy complain that all the bad girls are assholes and then repeatedly go for the bad girls. I think that's what annoys guys the most, and I think most know at least one girl like that. Phrases like "Why can't I meet a guy like you... but not actually you of course" is just frustrating when you have a crush. Generalisations are only dangerous when the other party doesn't realise the inherent limitations of generalisations. I'm not going to stop making them, but I shouldn't have to implicitly state that not everyone adheres to it, it should be obvious that not everyone is the same.

P.S. Everyone knows the crazies are more fun.

--- End quote ---

Ros, this picture sums it up pretty well. I think anyways :)

And your point about women being more emotionally connected to sex might be valid for some, but not for others. I've met some girls where sex is just an enjoyable to get something from a guy. Not even slutty, just manipulative, and attractive... sorry I digress.
--- End quote ---

Yeah, I've known women like that but they often prove to be the exception rather than the rule. An attractive women hits on a single guy, odds are most of us will end up being dogs and going for it. Some women realise the power they can wield, others never quite do...

Nikkoru:

--- Quote from: metro. on April 10, 2012, 09:36:37 PM ---
--- Quote from: Nikkoru on April 10, 2012, 09:33:05 PM ---I'm hating both myself and metro for reading the previous 2 pages. Mostly metro.

Sex does have personal significance, but it should be about the people who are participating in it. We've been functioning under a narrative for a while now that it's something like sporting event, the first man to get into someone's pants is the winner with extra points for performance. It leads to some dumb decision making and shallow sex lives.

--- End quote ---

How is this my fault?! :(

I never said it was like "omg sex yesssss" everyone just assumed that's what I meant and ran with it.
If anyone is at fault, I think we should blame Elvi. I think...

--- End quote ---

A; having nerds talk about sex is bad, always... always... always. This is why Shakespearean plays are about the attractive young nobility and not the apothecary's apprentice with the acne who spends his time in the back of the shop obsessively mixing elixirs and brews until 4 AM and thinks he's got a real shot with the neighbouring merchant's daughter now that she has lyme disease.

B; You decided to make a topic about a discussion you had at 5 AM, this in itself sets off the big blinking warning lights and squealing sirens over at the internet hall o' justice.

C; You have a marvellous talent at saying the perfectly wrong sounding thing, it's practically a super power.

D; I can't blame Evil, as she violates all laws of gods and nature by simply being on the internet, you might as well criticize a pink fluffy unicorn for your credit problems.

metro.:

--- Quote from: Nikkoru on April 10, 2012, 09:48:22 PM ---A; having nerds talk about sex is bad, always... always... always. This is why Shakespearean plays are about the attractive young nobility and not the apothecary's apprentice with the acne who spends his time in the back of the shop obsessively mixing elixirs and brews until 4 AM and thinks he's got a real shot with the neighbouring merchant's daughter now that she has lyme disease.

B; You decided to make a topic about a discussion you had at 5 AM, this in itself sets off the big blinking warning lights and squealing sirens over at the internet hall o' justice.

C; You have a marvellous talent at saying the perfectly wrong sounding thing, it's practically a super power.

D; I can't blame Evil, as she violates all laws of gods and nature by simply being on the internet, you might as well criticize a pink fluffy unicorn for your credit problems.

--- End quote ---

I wanted varied points of views on this issue. I didn't start it at 5AM, and hey, one it gets late enough you start to think outside the box ;)
And I assure you that C only applies online. As weird as it sounds, I'm actually not too terrible with words.

More importantly you use ; instead of : and it's bugging me.

elvikun:

--- Quote from: rostheferret on April 10, 2012, 09:23:44 PM --- (click to show/hide)
--- Quote from: elvikun on April 10, 2012, 08:39:45 PM ---
--- Quote from: rostheferret on April 10, 2012, 08:06:42 PM --- (click to show/hide)
--- Quote from: elvikun on April 10, 2012, 07:51:07 PM ---
--- Quote from: rostheferret on April 10, 2012, 07:31:58 PM --- (click to show/hide)
--- Quote from: elvikun on April 10, 2012, 06:36:54 PM --- What I meant is that when you asked people about your age or younger about virginity, there is a good chance they said "Sure, I have sex, like, all the time, you know." but it's not truth, just trying to look "cool"(And frankly, that goes tripple for males). How do you tell who is telling the truth?
--- End quote ---

There's an old joke; you ask a man how many women he's slept with, divide by three to find the real answer. Ask a woman how many men she's slept with, double it to find the real answer. :P

The most interesting point I've seen raised is whether you view someone differently after sex (rather than specifically virginity). Avoiding the obvious 'well now I don't have to imagine what she looks like topless hurr hurr' type jokes (ok, I had to make one >.<) I usually don't think of them in a new light at all. I'll have decided already what I wanted from the situation, whether we were in a blossoming relationship or we were both drunk in a bar. I don't really become any more emotionally entangled; I don't really know them any better as a person do I? It's just a fun activity. The same, however, is most certainly not true for women. I don't know why, but the difference before and after is that afterwards even the most benign of comments, ordinarily ignored, become deep painful insults causing them to burst into tears leaving the guy scratching his head. The phase usually passes but the amount of time I've reduced partners to tears without a clue why is mind boggling.

--- End quote ---
And yes, the jokes like... He is amazing. Best 7 seconds in my life!
are very old. Hurr hurr.

1. Think good and long about who your best friend is.
2. Somehow manage to sleep with them.
3. Invite them to beer/whatever.
4. Come back and say nothing is different whatsoever.

Yeah. You wouldn't prolly get to do point 4 honestly. And that's what at least I've meant.

And plese, please, everytime you plan on saying something very terribly awkward about women, at least have the courtesy of putting "some of" or similar before it. Do it just for me, so I don't have to go on the "it's about principe" counter-argument crusade about the fact that not every woman is submissive and totally stupid.  ;D
--- End quote ---
The second bit wasn't directed at you btw, just a generalisation I've noticed often seems to be true. And yes, if we're talking about someone whose a close friend then sex is incredibly weird, and yes ofc things will suddenly be all the more awkward. Especially seeing as my two closest friends are both male. It has nothing to do with stupidity or the like, it's not even a negative connotation; women tend to form stronger emotional attachments from sex than men. I on the other hand, form far stronger emotional connections to someone from events in a completely de-sexualised manner. This could just be me.

EDIT: Actually, now that I think of it, my best friend when I was about 16 was female, and yes I did sleep with her. My feelings towards her didn't change, but I knew hers had, which in turn made things more difficult and we lost contact a few months later. I still didn't view her in a romantic manner, she was a good friend who happened to be attractive, throw alcohol into the mix and one thing led to another, yada yada. Maybe I'm emotionally stunted, who knows, but this goes back to my original point, women tend to feel a stronger emotional connection from sex than men do (in my experience).
--- End quote ---

Oh yeah, when one expects love and the other friendship. And they say only girls friendzone guys. That's why generalizations are so dangerous.

And sorry, it just that you sounded like man-Cosmopolitan psychologist. If you ever saw Cosmopolitan, you know it's not a good thing - "We are women and that's why we know all about men better than any man. It also always, with no exception is the truth. If it doesn't seem so, it is because he is not honest with you.".  Ok, poking you with a stick a bit righ here.
It's just that sometimes, I feel like I'm visiting Narnia here. Like almost everyone has just paragon stereotype-people around them. But then again, maybe I'm just so terrific dominant and unique (read: Crazy) person who has friends of similar nature and has very little changce to get in contact with the "classic" people.
--- End quote ---

Don't apologise, I was worried I offended you >.< And whilst I do think guys friend-zone girls - I think it's natural for anyone who becomes friends to stop seeing them in a sexual context - I've never heard a guy complain that all the bad girls are assholes and then repeatedly go for the bad girls. I think that's what annoys guys the most, and I think most know at least one girl like that. Phrases like "Why can't I meet a guy like you... but not actually you of course" is just frustrating when you have a crush. Generalisations are only dangerous when the other party doesn't realise the inherent limitations of generalisations. I'm not going to stop making them, but I shouldn't have to implicitly state that not everyone adheres to it, it should be obvious that not everyone is the same.

P.S. Everyone knows the crazies are more fun.


--- Quote from: AceHigh on April 10, 2012, 09:18:06 PM ---
--- Quote from: elvikun on April 10, 2012, 08:39:45 PM ---You have very un-Vinking like imagination there, brother.

--- End quote ---
(click to show/hide)Alas the stone age ended before the Viking age, in which the most common way to get a wife was to kidnap one or several in Britain or Ireland. (Baltic countries for the Swedish vikings). So don't tell me about Viking imagination, less it might be misunderstood as an invitation. (Pillaging and burning your house is included into the service)
--- End quote ---

Have you seen what half the women here look like? Take em :P I'll be joining the Swedes...

--- End quote ---
Yeah, offended me. It's not easy to do that. I'm often just slightly irritated when a man starts to talk about women and puts it as if it's a rule, yet it's something I wouldn't even consider doing. Especially crying. The last time I did that was before elementary shool and that was because I had enormous piece of metal stuck in my leg. Gee, maybe metro was right and I am emotionally jaded, heh.  I guess the irritation is caused by all the years of listening to men talk about "them stupid bitches" (vulgar simplification) on the internet and sometimes, I can't help but take it personally.

But thinking back, I'm really a bit odd. I never went trough the "looking cool" stage or the typical high school experiences and romances. I never liked "bad boys", I never sat there with girls talking about ... shit. I never giggled on football players, I never blushed, neved made little hearts out of question marks, never smoked to look adult, never drank for the sake of drinking, never played the dare games... And man, it goes on and on. But, for some reason, trying to not be cool and not caring was perceived as very cool by many, but it usually din't last for long, as not many people could take my sarcasm and skepticism at that time, lol.  I usually ended up with a group of nerds making epic poems about my accomplisments in Morrowind and Ultima.
Well. That's sad. I almost want to go on about it and it feels so long time ago even tho it's not more than 7 or 8 years.
Oh the nostalgia overload.



Also wanted to make a defense-joke about the women in england, but then I realised it's no joking matter. The level of uglyness is seriously high in some areas, haha.


@metro
Hey, make threads like this often. Nothing else sparks my interest so much. I hope I didn't sound like I actually dislike any part of the thread.

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