There once was a man named Metro.
He was a short man, by most standards.
By others, he would be about the same height as Yoshihiro Asai.
He was an okay guy, imperfect, but he tried.
Then one day, he didn't want to try anymore.
He said it makes no sense, this Internet thing. How can we exist through computers, whose idea was it to hook them together and make people talk through them? It's a terrible idea, it dehumanizes everyone, it makes the government shoot fish in a barrel by knowing what goes on, even moreso than before. But Metro can't say that, because then people will be all like Metro "you should go ahead and live in a wood cabin in a secluded forest with no contact to the outside world" because hyperbole is always funny and your questioning of the Internet also means you must not like phones, electric ovens, or Japanese cartoons where you can see the chick's panties when she gets off the bicycle. But phones are different, aren't they? Is it wrong to feel a certain a way about something, but a totally different way about something similar? You can say that on the Internet, but no one cares. That's what make the Internet so great, right? There are so many opinions on everything, you can go your whole time online without dirtying yourself with an opinion you don't agree with. Why should you listen to someone else's view? Why should you watch a video tape when all you can do is go forward and backwards?! That's what they want you to do! That's why they made interstates and highways to only go back and forth, so you have to stay on their roads otherwise you'll be disobeying them! We want to cut our own trail, we want director's commentary and outtakes! We want. We want. WE WANT. This is our world, we're the species that wears pants and dresses, we're the ones who make the rules, this is our world, and we're sick and tired of having to see people face to face and we will hold dominion over all with our square machine boxes and if Metro says otherwise, he's a clueless dork who also must not like canned soup or other convenient things because hyperbole repeated is the best thing since Internet. People say lighten up, mellow out, shut up we don't care about your opinion. Don't get so frustrated you twitchy prick, who cares if they have infomercials on TV for scrapbooking tips and accessories, maybe people don't want to cut out their own shapes or just put things in a photo album! Is it always about you Metro? About how you don't like the world, about how you are deeply concerned about the states of food products when children nine and ten years old are starting puberty? Or how you are concerned? Stop being concerned, coast with the rest of us, enjoy a life of mental atrophy, tune in, turn on, drop out, and stop trying to be different or have an opinion we don't want to read and don't really care about. You can't change the world or make it better for those after you, live now! LIVE. NOW.
There once was a man named Metro.
And he created the best thread ever.
