Author Topic: Dating "Deal Braker"  (Read 4032 times)

Offline elvikun

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Re: Dating "Deal Braker"
« Reply #40 on: May 04, 2012, 02:58:41 PM »
And how are rigts of men inferior to women over there? Just wondering.

Rights are the same, but women kept the perks and didn't take the burdens. For example a man is badly positioned when it comes to taking custody over children unless mother is some crackwhore that is deemed unsuitable as a mother. Then there is no conscription for women. It is not easy for men to take paternal leave as it is for women even though the law states that both parents should have the possibility to have equal amount paternal leave after birth. The list goes on...

Quote
I still see problems tho, such as employment in ceratin areas, even if you have better references and degrees, it's still very likely that a man will get chosen over you, because, well, he's a man.
And with all the affirmative action laws it is more likely that a woman with inferior qualification will get a job because the company needs to fill the quota of women. The most extreme example we had was a corporation owner who was criticized for not having any women at executive board, so his answer was "It's a family business, god gave me 2 sons but no daughters, that's why I don't have any women in that position". Feminists and politicians were not amused.
Well, I would argue about the first. It's not really a "bonus" right, it's an antiquated tradition, women must stay home with kids and kids will stay with mother no matter what. Which is actually changing very, very slowly. But on the other hand, the number of men who want to stay home with kids or take kids while divorcing is really, really small. If more men wanted the kids, the fairness of the laws (or rather the opinion and rulling of courts) on the matter would change more quickly I believe.
No conscription? I mean... should I even comment on that?

On the second one, it wasn't really a speculation. Yes, you are more likely to get a job as a receptioninst or secretary if you are a woman than a man, but when it comes higher positions and more "technical" jobs, you are pretty much screwed in many cases. Family busyness is a bit of case for it's own, noone can tell those what is right or wrong, but women in the higher eshelons of power in general are still rather rare and again, in majority of cases it has nothing to do with experience or abilities.
There is still a work to be done. But not on the paper, laws and rights are nice and all, but those things here are cultural traditions from the past, that doesn't go away because of a new law. Which neither side seems to understand.
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Offline undetz

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Re: Dating "Deal Braker"
« Reply #41 on: May 04, 2012, 03:08:53 PM »
No conscription? I mean... should I even comment on that?
Yes, you should.

Offline elvikun

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Re: Dating "Deal Braker"
« Reply #42 on: May 04, 2012, 03:28:47 PM »
No conscription? I mean... should I even comment on that?
Yes, you should.
Well, might vary from country to country, but it seems to be pretty damn hard to get to army even if you want to and that's only for administrative / supportive positions, for actual "soldier" it's harder yet, even impossible for some, so yes, it seems rather logical that there is no conscription.
There is also the mentality about army included. Which is another tradition, but eh.
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Offline Saras

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Re: Dating "Deal Braker"
« Reply #43 on: May 04, 2012, 05:17:29 PM »
No conscription? I mean... should I even comment on that?
Yes, you should.
Well, might vary from country to country, but it seems to be pretty damn hard to get to army even if you want to and that's only for administrative / supportive positions, for actual "soldier" it's harder yet, even impossible for some, so yes, it seems rather logical that there is no conscription.
There is also the mentality about army included. Which is another tradition, but eh.

The two highest positions available in Lithuania are currently held by women The President, The Prime Minister. Also, if I'm not mistaken, the highest position in the army currently also belongs to a woman.


And yes, generally speaking. It is true that executive boards and the like are mostly populated by men. However, so are the gutters. Most women reside in "the middle" of the work force, but that's a position most men can't really match.

Offline AceHigh

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Re: Dating "Deal Braker"
« Reply #44 on: May 04, 2012, 05:22:30 PM »
Of course, the famous tradition. Basically you are saying anything that would be favourable to women is "equal rights" and "feminism", when it comes to exempts from burdens that should be eliminated for the true equality, then lets hide behind "tradition".

This is what in short ticks me off about the whole feminist movement. It's pick and choose whatever women want. No, I am all for equality, but I want it to go all the way and both ways for both genders.
For one thing, Tiff is not on any level what I would call a typical American.  She's not what I would consider a typical person.  I don't know any other genius geneticist anime-fan martial artist marksman model-level beauties, do you?

Offline undetz

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Re: Dating "Deal Braker"
« Reply #45 on: May 04, 2012, 05:28:07 PM »
No conscription? I mean... should I even comment on that?
Yes, you should.
Well, might vary from country to country, but it seems to be pretty damn hard to get to army even if you want to and that's only for administrative / supportive positions, for actual "soldier" it's harder yet, even impossible for some, so yes, it seems rather logical that there is no conscription.
There is also the mentality about army included. Which is another tradition, but eh.
It's not hard to get into the army. You get a letter telling you you're expected to be there at a certain date and then they don't let you out for however long you're supposed to be in it. The practice of only telling males they're supposed to be there is discrimination against all sexes.

Offline vicious796

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Re: Dating "Deal Braker"
« Reply #46 on: May 04, 2012, 05:46:46 PM »
When I was single I had a laundry list of deal breakers. My friends always poked at me for only dating 10s (no less than 9.5) when I, myself, was never more than a 7 but you get yourself a set of standards and don't waver from them. As a guy you have to remember the odds are statistically in your favor - there are more women out there than men - and hold fast to the truth that you always have a chance no matter how slim it is.

Of course, I never dated simply to date - even in high school - which was always something that worked in my favor. I had a reputation all the way up to my actual marriage that I was either looking for what I wanted in a wife (when I was very young) or that I was looking for a wife (when I was just "young"). I never did the "short term" dating thing, either. Girls knew if they were going to date me it was going to be a long relationship. Then again, almost every girl I dated ended up cheating on me so, hey, can't win 'em all.

If I had to cherry pick the absolute deal breakers, though, they'd probably be:

1.) No dumb chicks. If you can't figure out how to make instant coffee (seriously, I taught this one girl how to make it 3 times before giving up) then you're not for me.

2.) No fat chicks and/or hygiene escapes you. The first part is shallow, I know, but it is what it is. More important is the second, though. If you are incapable of taking care of yourself it's a clear sign you're expecting me to take care of you. I want to take care of you - I don't want to have to take care of you.

3.) At least be open to watching anime. I'm not saying this because of the site we're on - it's a good measuring stick for how tolerant a person is to things they don't normally do. If you're incapable of opening yourself to experience something as expansive yet simple as anime you're clearly too self-absorbed. I never asked any girl to ditch what she liked to watch any anime, just expected them to give it a shot. I know it's not for everyone but at least be willing to try.

4.) Too easy. I've literally walked out of a girl's apartment right before sex would have happened because I had never seen her before that night (not that it really matters but no, we weren't drunk). I respect a woman's right to choose how she lives her life but I just don't live that way. If you do, well, sorry - it just won't work.


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Offline Goldfrapp

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Re: Dating "Deal Braker"
« Reply #47 on: May 04, 2012, 06:21:20 PM »
Deal Breakers:

Bad hygiene... this is bad bad bad. greasy hair, dirty fingernails, dirty clothes, smelly..If you dont care about how you look or smell, what about your other habits??
(also important, some kind of order, and clean bathroom/toilet/kitchen/ sheets are important.)

Bragging. Too desperate. Lying. Insecure. Drugusers. Partypeople. Too soft minded. Smokers.

If Im taller than the man.. Not good. (This does not count on women.)

I want the man to be A man, so too feminine men would also be a dealbreaker.

I think I got a longer list, but this was the first things that came into my mind. Been some years since I have been dating, I seriously hope I dont have to go there again, I never was any good at it.
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Offline TiYlER

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Re: Dating "Deal Braker"
« Reply #48 on: May 04, 2012, 06:27:17 PM »
I was thinking about this thread the whole day at school.

Deal Breakers:
Taller than me
Weighs more than I
Has a deeper voice than I
Knows less than I (in any given area)
super-religious

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Offline AceHigh

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Re: Dating "Deal Braker"
« Reply #49 on: May 04, 2012, 06:36:02 PM »
I would bet that there are almost no people that hold all the identical knowledge that you have, so that is a harsh criteria.
For one thing, Tiff is not on any level what I would call a typical American.  She's not what I would consider a typical person.  I don't know any other genius geneticist anime-fan martial artist marksman model-level beauties, do you?

Offline TiYlER

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Re: Dating "Deal Braker"
« Reply #50 on: May 04, 2012, 06:41:41 PM »
She doesn't have to have identical knowledge, she just should be at least as smart as I, preferably smarter.

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Offline FenNiverdia

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Re: Dating "Deal Braker"
« Reply #51 on: May 04, 2012, 06:43:43 PM »
She doesn't have to have identical knowledge, she just should be at least as smart as I, preferably smarter.

Imagine how boring would it be, if you could learn only from her and she could learn nothing from you. Of course, I'm wording this very crudely just to bring the point across.

Offline TiYlER

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Re: Dating "Deal Braker"
« Reply #52 on: May 04, 2012, 06:44:59 PM »
Imagine how boring would it be, if you could learn only from her and she could learn nothing from you. Of course, I'm wording this very crudely just to bring the point across.

Ah, I never thought about it from her point of view... I guess that's why I'm single :/

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Offline FenNiverdia

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Re: Dating "Deal Braker"
« Reply #53 on: May 04, 2012, 06:46:18 PM »
Imagine how boring would it be, if you could learn only from her and she could learn nothing from you. Of course, I'm wording this very crudely just to bring the point across.

Ah, I never thought about it from her point of view... I guess that's why I'm single :/

If the age in your profile is correct, I wouldn't be worried, you're still quite young, and it shows in your attitude here.

Offline kadatherion

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Re: Dating "Deal Braker"
« Reply #54 on: May 04, 2012, 06:52:19 PM »
Hygiene quirks? Actually it reminds me somehow of the thread about peeing in the shower. I am sure that would be a deal breaker for some, but damn I love the freedom of flow... not to mention killing two birds with one stone.  ;D

There are two kind of men: those who pee in the shower, and those who lie about it.

Offline elvikun

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Re: Dating "Deal Braker"
« Reply #55 on: May 04, 2012, 07:02:44 PM »
(click to show/hide)

There are two kind of men: those who pee in the shower, and those who lie about it.
Honestly, I don't think anyone really cares about that, as long as you do it only when you are alone in the shower. If you're not, then... well. Don't.


Of course, the famous tradition. Basically you are saying anything that would be favourable to women is "equal rights" and "feminism", when it comes to exempts from burdens that should be eliminated for the true equality, then lets hide behind "tradition".

This is what in short ticks me off about the whole feminist movement. It's pick and choose whatever women want. No, I am all for equality, but I want it to go all the way and both ways for both genders.
No, I am saying that staying home after birth and getting kids upon divorce is is a thing caused by tradition and the fact majority of both men AND women like and want it hat way. In the case of companies/politics most of leadership positions are occupied by men, that's a fact. Cause is, again, tradition and prolly also that men tend to be a tad more ambitious.
So, you disagree or...? Not sure from your answer, to be honest.
You picked two examples, I told you what I think about them. So I don't see how can I tick you off by picking and choosing. I don't really see how the current state favors either gender in those areas.


(click to show/hide)
It's not hard to get into the army. You get a letter telling you you're expected to be there at a certain date and then they don't let you out for however long you're supposed to be in it. The practice of only telling males they're supposed to be there is discrimination against all sexes.
.
Yes, but if you are a woman you don't get a letter and go, because first off, army doesn't want you in the army, which is somewhat relevant, then the army in most states don't really have any lodging & utilities for women at all. Even as voluteer you could have a trouble, because you need to be tall, for example.
So yes, sucks for girls who wanted to be a soldier and sucks for boys who never wanted to.
But this is historical (or as I said, traditional). Not too long ago, women weren't allowed on ships, let alone in the army, under any circumstances so... Progress?
« Last Edit: May 04, 2012, 07:05:20 PM by elvikun »
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Offline undetz

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Re: Dating "Deal Braker"
« Reply #56 on: May 04, 2012, 07:04:47 PM »
[/spoiler]
It's not hard to get into the army. You get a letter telling you you're expected to be there at a certain date and then they don't let you out for however long you're supposed to be in it. The practice of only telling males they're supposed to be there is discrimination against all sexes.
[/quote].
Yes, but if you are a woman you don't get a letter and go, because forst off, army doesn't want you in the army, which is somewhat relevant, then the army in most states don't really have any lodging & utilities for women at all. Even as voluteer you could have a trouble, because you need to be tall, for example.
So yes, scks for girls who wanted to be a soldier and sucks for boys who never wanted to.
But this is historical (or as I said, traditional). Not too long ago, women weren't allowed on ships, let alone in the army, under any circumstances so... Progress?
[/quote]
I take it you agree it's sexist and that either everyone should be made to serve in the army, or noone should.

Offline FenNiverdia

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Re: Dating "Deal Braker"
« Reply #57 on: May 04, 2012, 07:10:17 PM »
(click to show/hide)

There are two kind of men: those who pee in the shower, and those who lie about it.
Honestly, I don't think anyone really cares about that, as long as you do it only when you are alone in the shower. If you're not, then... well. Don't.

This made me snort.
But yeah. It's not like it's hard to clean that out of a shower, so I probably wouldn't lift an ear to that either. As long as I'm not invited to watch.


As for dealbreakers for me, I don't like
1) overtly bad hygiene. This should be obvious.
2) wearing your (general "you") low self-esteem on your sleeve. You know, jealousy, clinginess, asking for or not believing in claims of love, all that jazz and more.
3) general stupidity. I'm not asking you to know everything I know, I don't know a lot of things either, but I'm looking for a suitable intellectual capacity, and
4) like some others claimed, not being open to at least the possibility of trying out new things or not antagonising the hobbies we (general "we") don't share.

Judging how I grew up in a household with someone who displays 1), 2) and 4) quite prominently, I know for sure that I don't want to deal with those things in my love life, should a lengthy commitment ever occur in my life. :'D

Offline TiYlER

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Re: Dating "Deal Braker"
« Reply #58 on: May 04, 2012, 07:19:54 PM »
If the age in your profile is correct, I wouldn't be worried, you're still quite young, and it shows in your attitude here.
Yeah, I get that a lot.

(...)
2) wearing your (general "you") low self-esteem on your sleeve. You know, jealousy, clinginess, asking for or not believing in claims of love, all that jazz and more.
(...)
4) like some others claimed, not being open to at least the possibility of trying out new things or not antagonising the hobbies we (general "we") don't share.
(...)
I agree with these as well.

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Offline kadatherion

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Re: Dating "Deal Braker"
« Reply #59 on: May 04, 2012, 07:22:30 PM »
I take it you agree it's sexist and that either everyone should be made to serve in the army, or noone should.

Actually, if we had to be totally fair, there should now be compulsory conscription for women only for at least some centuries. Well, I know it isn't really a retroactive thing, so it wouldn't be that fair, but think of the plus side: wars without (too much) raping.