If you wanna be a real douche, setup a trojan with a keylogger and monitor everything he does. And, y'know, change his passwords for all his favorite sites as a message.
I dunno how you're taking weeks to learn how to do it to be honest. All it takes is reading of a simple guide, which shouldn't take you more than an hour at most to be completely done with it.
Just stop trying to tiptoe around the issue and do what you need to do. You know what needs to be done, stop being lazy and just sit down and do it. It won't be remotely as hard as you imagine. You waste more time with a bunch of halfassed temporary fixes than you would if you'd have just done the right thing from the start.