[Game] The "Corrupted Wish" thread 3.0

[captiosus]

Granted, but then computers begin taking over  your mind

I wish the jet of my own design were real, and could really haul ass XD (hey i designed it to crack mach 5)

[traen]

Granted, but the after the first prototypes were made, the government decided the design wasn't cost-effective enough and scrapped all the prototypes to make a statue of Barack Obama.

I wish my term papers were all written.

[queenmetroid]

I'll write them for you, if I get paid. I'm sure you can't afford my price, though.

I wish my life was more like anime...

[traen]

Granted, but Suzumiya Haruhi suddenly decides the world is boring and pushes for the Human Instrumentality Plan to go into action. Shinji and Asuka are confirmed alive by the end of this mess. Asuka is disgusted.

I wish I had a girlfriend right now.

[queenmetroid]

Shion Sonazaki. 'Nuff said.

I wish I had more spare time...

[traen]

Granted, you've just been fired.

I wish I could play the guitar.

[cubensis55]

Granted, but you don't have a guitar.   

I wish I didn't have to go through 10 shitty animes to get to 1 good one.

[traen]

Granted. Gainax, Production IG, and Shinichiro Watanabe combine their genius to create the most epic anime movie ever lasting 53 tantalizing minutes of eye-, brain-, bodygasm. Yoko Kanno and John Williams do the score. Otaku everywhere download fansubs months after its release in Japan. Simultaneously, World War III spontaneously ignites, and, while the U.S.'s economy reinvigorates itself in the ensuing arms race, North Korea chooses a fateful day to fire its stockpile of nukes--launching a devastating retaliatory barrage by all other nuclear nations of the world.
On that fateful day, as the credits of the movie roll by and you sit paralyzed at your computer chair, crying all the water and salt content of your body in aching worship, a nuke detonates over your backyard.

I wish I could have Superman's powers. Sans his weakness to kryptonite.

[cubensis55]

Granted,  but your "faster than a speeding bullet" when making love. 

I wish the novel-length answer that traen just wrote could be published.

[Keevtara]

Granted, but they convert all computer part factories to printing presses to publish it. There will be no more computers, ever.

I wish my five page history paper were already written.

[surdumil]

Granted, but it's written in the language that Yoko Kanno invented.

I wish the oceans were all as warm as bathwater.

[traen]

Granted, but now they reek of urine.

I wish I was ridiculously rich.

[Rhino]

granted but u have a 90 trillion dollars in blizzard bucks(only good for the 08 - 09 blizzard hockey season )

i wish i had another Columbia gear jacket

[Kaiuri]

Granted, but a bear ate up first the jacket and then you...

I wish for insomnia.

[Duki3003]

Granted, but by 3rd day you start seeng pink elephants and they're whispering to slaughter your family and friends and you eventually take up on their advice....

I wish I had a Crystal ball (the one that shows the future).

[Kaiuri]

Granted but since its a pissed crystal ball it decides to show you various terrible ways you will die , and unfortunately they all come true (Yes, you die more than once. Dont ask me how).

I wish for beef noodles :3

[muesli]

granted but the expiration date of the beef says 27th of August 1978    enjoy your meal!

i wish i would know how someone could die more than once.. 

[Duki3003]

Granted, you found out by being the second person who died more than once. (First one was aperantly me)

I wish I don't have to showel snow tomorrow (again).

[Keevtara]

Granted, but you have to shovel snow every day after that.

I wish Akira would finish downloading.

[traen]

Granted, but it's loaded with viruses that break past your protection and virtually flood your computer with gay/horse porn. And the file is corrupted so it doesn't run after the first 5 seconds.

I wish I was more manly.